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female
,
*kat
writes: I don't need relationship advice, but maby friendship advice. I've lost my best friend 5 months ago due to illness. It was very traumatic for me and still is today. I'm not coping well with him not being around anymore, because we used to be lovers, but financially we never had money to get married or start a life together. I took care of him when he was so ill. He couldn't talk anymore, but maby he knew i was there with him. Today I see that poor face and it makes me so heartsore and i feel that i haven't done enough for him. He was in the government hospital and they neglected him so much. I went there everyday to wash and feed him. I cried once and he heard me. He woke up and took me around the neck amd just kissed my forehead and hand and put my head next to his on the pillow. I dont know how to let go... It is so hard.....
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best friend, money, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Skat +, writes (6 October 2006):
Skat is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all who gave me answers. Your help is appreciated. David, Im thinking of you & what you have to go through as well. Anonymous,thank you for your willing advice and ear. My story is a very complex one & it's hard for me at the moment. I want to go for counselling, but not at the moment. Talking to you guys makes me feel better. Thanks
A
female
reader, Skat +, writes (6 October 2006):
Skat is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all who gave me answers. Your help is appreciated. David, Im thinking of you & what you have to go through as well. Anonymous,thank you for your willing advice and ear. My story is a very complex one & it's hard for me at the moment. I want to go for counselling, but not at the moment. Talking to you guys makes me feel better. Thanks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): Look to the future, think of all the good times that ye had together. Some times it helps if you write these down so you will never forget them!
One of my friends died suddenly nearly 5 years ago - he was only just gone 25 but it happened so fast that no one could believe it!
The only thing we do is go to his place of rest, spend time talking to him there, knowing that he is smiling down on us, watching over us every day & night.
Course he knew you were with him, even if he couldn't tell you himself. No doubt he'll find a way of letting you know in the future that he's ok... And please don't be thinking that there is more you could have done - no one could have done as much as you did in his last days and hours - just been there with him was more of a comfort to him than you will ever know!!!
If you ever want to talk please feel free to talk to me...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): There's no way you will ever forget this guy or get over it. It get just gets that little bit easier as time goes on... Of course he knew you were, even if he couldn't speak he could sense you there. You done more than any one could have asked for by just been there for him in his final days and hours!!! Don't beat yourself up about the "what if's" cos there's no point...
I felt like that when one of my very good friends died suddenly nearly 5 years ago! He was only 25 with his whole life ahead of him. I thought I would never get over it - his best friend was nearly killed trying to get back down to see him before he died!!
Time is a great healer - I know everyone will tell you that but take if from some one who knows & has been through it!! I'm sure your friend is smiling down on you, watching out for you and thinking of all you have done!!
Don't despair, go visit his place of rest & talk to him there, let him know how you are feeling and this might help you get through this terrible time...
Any time that you feel you need to talk to some one - please feel free to talk to me :)
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (5 October 2006):
 I dont think you can let go. You just need to try to live with it and let time make things more bearable.
You need to try to remember the good times and you will soon smile when you think of him. Are you undertaking any counselling at the moment? This would help you greatly.
I am sort of in the same situation, but my fiancee is there supporting me. My main fear is when I have to leave, but I just have to make each day special.
I am sure you made his days special, you did everything you could. You deserve more credit than you realise.
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