A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I like to eat healthy and my bf...not so much. usually he'll buy a huge package of what he thinks is the least-tasty/most healthy lettuce he can find, glares at it for 3 weeks until it liquifies. Meanwhile, when i visit, i make hearts with my eyes at the green goodness. until it liquifies. I really like to cook and I like to share my culinary treasures with him but a time that always sticks out was about a year ago i made these sweet potato enchiladas and it took two or three hours, i forget why, i think a lot of chopping involved, and i asked him if he liked it and he said no, sorry and walked away and I was super hurt because i made this effort and i felt like it wasn't appreciated; he felt like I was too motherly and felt like he couldn't even say no like I was forcing him to like it. I don't really get where this line is but I get that the food and me were too much of his comfort zone so i kept my recipes to myself and tried to back off.so I asked him if he could every once in a while google around til he found a healthy recipe that looked appetizing to him. anyway i asked him to do this but i'm pretty sure he hasn't. I grew up associating cooking and sharing meals as an act of love, and it makes me feel really good about myself, proud to do something nice for my man. is it just too pushy to try to have him share in [the fruits of] my hobby, and have his participation not only through eating the final product but in choosing something he actually considers palatable? we've been dating for like 6 yr. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (29 March 2012):
Any guy who doesnt appreciate his woman trying to take care of him doesnt deserve his woman.....
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 March 2012):
 Oh we have dinner together every night. for example last night he wanted perogies... I made them (not from scratch) and doctored them up a bit for him... I had a few but I prefer to eat more healthy stuff.
I would also prefer to eat at the dinner table but he prefers the coffee table and couch.... so we compromise.
I get what you are saying... I was raised in a home where mom cooked... dad got called to the table and we ate...
let's point out that by the time you were old enough to remember this your parents had been together as a couple for a longer time and MOM knew what dad liked and did not like and she already knew how to cater to his tastes... that's what you saw... not the early years...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI will go for india's suggestions, thanks!
So confused, I wonder: I grew up in a house where my mother cooked for my father my family and me, even when my dad didn't like it he ate it, and I just don't like the idea of eating separately or like having him take a bite and moving on and enjoying my creation by myself (unless it's just not his scene, which I get). Call me anti-feminist or old fashioned but that's where I'm coming from, although as a semi-new cook i have a thinner skin and interest in pleasing more than my mom did, she didn't really care WHO liked what she made! I know he's an adult but my dad is an adult so what's that mean, that when i get married then we can do this? I lived with this guy for a bit, and we might move back in, but it depressed me that he'd make his dinner and i'd make mine..like living in separate worlds.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2012):
Cook what he likes when you cook for him.
I love fruits and veggies. My fiancé thinks they are the devil’s spawn. He likes meat and potatoes… He likes pasta… I have learned to cook what he likes and make a side salad for myself… I don’t cook for him and then stand around and get hurt when he hates my cooking (often happens). I just move on.
Don’t ask him if he likes it, he will tell you if he does…. And honey don’t cook FOR him, cook for yourself and let him try it… if he likes it add it to the repertoire of things you cook for both of you.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Maybe go out and buy some cooking magazines or cookbooks and look through the recipes together? He sounds like a guy with zero motivation to find recipes independently.
I would remind him that you just love to cook - it's not you being motherly, it's you doing something that you truly enjoy, and nothing makes you happier than cooking a meal for someone that they really enjoy.
If he just doesn't want to look at cookbooks, I'd just tell him that you love to cook and that you're going to keep cooking him new stuff and he's to tell you what he likes and what he doesn't. You could also persuade him to be your sous chef in the kitchen, and perhaps he'll begin to offer you opinions.
Check out the book "Deceptively Delicious", I think it's called. It's by Jerry Seinfeld's wife. That gives a lot of advice on how to cleverly disguise healthy additions to regularly fattening meals!
Good luck, mon petît chef!
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