A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am a mature student at uni. I like this teacher a lot, he's interesting intelligent, funny. I think he's hot (for some reason no-one agrees, they are all clearly blind in my opinion!)He's single and he says he has no friends and niether do I.I am a pretty fussy young woman, I have never liked a teacher enough to want to do what I want to do to him! (if you get my point) As a consequence I like him too much to ever want to get him into trouble or see him ruined because he could lose his job.When I realised I liked him I figured "ah just a crush, if I let it take its course it'll be quicker and easier in the long run"Problem is that was a year ago.I have caught him gaping at me before a few times,(literally mouth open staring) once he then ran away quickly. I was worried I'd scared him or something.He punched me playfully (yet tentively)the otherday and grins like a crazy person at me.I don't expect to marry him but we are both lonely and like similar things, I thought maybe we could become friends and then see after my course has finished. Problem is he's quite a cynical chap and I'm worried he thinks I'm after better grades or something!I'm not I just like him. but to be fair I'd be worried that he was doing it with loads of students if anything happened!Please can anyone advise me?
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female
reader, kitty_3  +, writes (11 October 2009):
 maybe go see him for "help." usually, you end up talking about things you have in common, and it might help you gage how compatible you'd be.
i don't see any problem with you two dating after you're no longer his student. are you in grad-school?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm ever so sorry I did not mean to get so defensive.
I agree with what you are saying and I would not come on to him anyway, for starters I do not like the idea of holding his entire career in my hands.
I'm just really frustrated and I know I need to get over it. I guess it will just come with time but its driving me up the wall!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): Wasn't suggesting you are a child and never had a relationshiip, but you aren't in one now and I still think you are just caught up in the way he is teaching you...I mean that is a good teacher who can do that, and the fact that you are not in a realtionship and find him the least little bit attractive, I think your admiration for him is getting your imagination going.
I don't think he wants the same thing you do or he would let you know. Who knows why this really is, but if it were my guess, he is a professional, this isn't his first show and he has experienced female students crushing on him before. He knows it isn't real, he is protecting himself and you and wants to keep his job at the University seperate from his personal life.
If you want to pursue him after you no longer take his class then go for it, but I think if he was that interested he will take that step on his own at a later date.
No one here is going to tell you exactly what you want to hear and you are going to do what you want to do regardless, so you can certainly try what ever you want.
But I think it is inappropriate for you to hit on your professor regardless of what you think you feel.
Part of being an adult is making wise choices.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so far everyone has mentioned all the things that have been going through my head!
I was the one who initially backed off as I thought it was a bit freaky, stupid and not a good place to go. So as a result for ages he had this idea that I hated him, it was funny in a way.
Its not like I have never had a real relationship before and I'm not a child. I know I don't get to choose who I like do you not think that I have told myself many times to "get over it" as I thought it was stupid?
At no point was I suggesting that I throw myself at him though!
So now i'm still confused as people are saying different things!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): I really do think this is just a crush on your part and probably one sided. He grins at you like a crazy person because he is flattered by your attention, I am sure he isn't daft and he has picked up on the vibes you are sending.
Problem is I think you are in admiration of him, after all you get to sit there class after class and listen to him pontificate and motivate you into being excited about learning his subject.....you know a whole lot more about his interests and mind then he knows about you.
I had a crazy crush on one of my college professors and he wasn't the least bit cute. He was lecturing on an advanced expeirimental psychology class and I was excited that I grasped the subject so easily when the rest of the class did not. I got straight A's in the class, never got a mark off on an exam and I was chosen by him to head up one of his research projects and was even published in his studies. This was for extra credit on my part.
All during this time I had a serious boyfriend who was tall and very handsome and loved me to death and I even practically lived with him, but I still had a crush on my teacher. Somehow, though I realized that is all it was and I just turned red a lot in his prescence.
The fact that you don't have anyone else may be the reason you don't see the difference between a real relationship and the one you are fantasizing about in your head with him.
I am sure he is all that you say he is, but you cannot date your professor, it would seem you are after a better grade and if he ended up hurting you, you could take revenge and get him in trouble. I say try to get over yourself and get a grip...continue your worship of him from afar....and go take a cold shower or find a boyfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThing is, I'm not entirely sure he likes me. Sometimes he acts like he does then he backs right off. Would this be because I'm a student, or because he doesn't like me?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Tarawr, that is what I thought. I would never ever want to see him get into trouble over me it would make him miserable and me cry!
Fran, I think I'm an adult i'm 28 (depends on your perspective really.)
I have also noticed my horrendous spelling mistake in the title!
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A
female
reader, Tarawr +, writes (10 October 2009):
 I say don't go for it. That would land him in a lot of trouble. After you graduate, however, that's a different story. They can't do anything once you're no longer his student.
Just remain friends right now. It will save both of you a lot of trouble. People are so strict when it comes to teacher-student relationships these days.
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A
male
reader, Fran7 +, writes (10 October 2009):
OMG you are in my same position but my teacher is a female and I am a boy.
I just want to say WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON TO US STUDENTS NOWADAYS?
The relationship between teacher and student usually start by talking too much with each other and being funny to each other.
Well, I need advise too.. Will you be that kind to advise me what to do with her after when I advised you what to do with him?
Because I think we can help each other, because you a girl and I am a boy..
You like a male teacher while I like a female teacher..
I think IT'S PERFECT! :D
well you first need to discover if he is somehow interested in you, because if you tell him straight right now without any concious help, he might just think that you are just a fool even if he is interested. He will say that because if he can lose the job and won't find another one quite easily, so you need always to be careful of what you will say and do to him. It might be just a crush, I know that you will say that it isn't like I say to myself too.
Let me ask you a question, are you an adult?
If yes you have good possibilities.. but if you are still studying, well be careful, YOU CAN BE FRIENDS and HANG OUT TOGETHER WITHOUT BEING SEEN, because if someone catches you.. you are both in serious pickles..
when you finish your course or whatsoever, that's the chance to ask, find the right words and make it to a PERFECT SPEECH.. I know it sounds easy but if it works at the end it
's worth it!!!!!!! or you can just say: I love you, I've lost my mind since when I first saw you. That is all that counts for me.. and he might answer why didn't you tell me before... you can say because it would have affect your job and etc.. etc... I am not sure what king of man he is..
Anyway did you get the point?
rules:
Friends then -- Loving couple
You said you are both feeling lonely and have the same taste of almost everything.. so why not?
Men of these days are quite shy..
You need to let him understand that you are actually loving him, he will realize it.. and he will possibly make the step-up..
I hope these tips have been helpful...
Good luck!!!!!!!
If you have any questions just ask me... but E-mail me here or at [email address blocked].. -- don't spam it please..
Because if you reply I am likely to not find this topic again xD
anyway... now please you have to help me out...
I saw her for the first time in the first school day assembly, and I went OMG she's beautiful...Well you might just think now I have a crush on her...
I thought the same thing, but I just cannot sleep during the nights and can't concentrate at school in the mornings..Because I think about her almost every hour of the day, let's say always unless I am not busy with something..
I don't know what is going on.. My heart keeps beating faster and harder when I think about her and when I see her in front of me, I just can't talk, I find it hard, really really difficult...
As the most cases, the problem is she's my teacher (Spanish)
I love Spanish and I am one of her best Spanish student..
and she is 30 years old while I am only 16...
But I can't take it anymore, I want her really really badly.. I have dreamed her twice in two days as well.
Well I don't know what to do..
I have no clue what will happen next If I'll tell her...
Please help....
Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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