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I like him but he has HIV, and I don't. Should I give this up?

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2009)
A male Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been single for a five years now and have become quite happy on my own. I love my life, my friends, my family, my home and my work. Truth be told I haven't bothered to search for a partner during the last year and a half simply because I don't need nor want someone else to make my life complete.

I had a few people express some interest in seeing how a romantic relationship would devolop over that time, but I explained to them that I was only interested in friendship. I had decided that I was going to work on myself because in 2004 I had come out of a long term relationship of four years and had done nothing but obsess about finding a new relationship.

Over the holiday season I hosted a small party at my house. A guy that I had recently met brought along a friend of his to this party.

Oh

My

God

There is something about this guy that just amazes me! From the instant we met we hit it off, we spent fifteen straight hours talking. It was an instant connection that I had only experienced twice before (and I am thankful that those two people are still in my life). We traded books on our first meeting and despite our scheduals agreed to meet again before the week was over.

A few days later we had lunch together, and a few more days after that breakfast.

On Tuesday night he will be comming around to my place for dinner.

On the first night we met, sitting alone outside, away from onlookers, a mere ten hours after having met me he confessed that he had discovered six months prior that he is HIV+, not only that but he is having difficulties dealing with his status.

I'm HIV free, and I want to stay that way. He has a lethal disease. If I catch it I will also die. I know the risks.

I don't know if it can work between us as a couple; and I don't know if I can deal with his HIV status if he is having difficulties in dealing with it himself.

Can it work, or should I just give up now?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009):

It is truly unfortunate about his having a deadly disease. If the two of you have any chance for happiness,

he must recognize your right to be healthy and live a full life. You must consider the same thing in your search for an answer to your question.

There are many men out there,that would be honored to

have someone such as yourself for a life partner. Any man that would even consider sharing a death producing disease

with you ....is not worthy !

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009):

A relationship can work but it may be hard for him to accept the fact that he is HIV+ first. Obvisiously he is smart and had the consideration of telling you before going into the relationship with a secret. He has left the decision to you on weather you want to commit or leave it be. Think of what your future holds being in a relationship together.

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