A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it better to be friends with someone who you care about and have feelings for and want to be your girlfriend with her knowing your feelings about her and she feels the same but is involved with someone else, or is it better to just tell her i can't stay friends as it hurts to much and try and move on as painful as it will be? I'm stuck in a dilema! :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Some people would rather be "friends" with someone they love than face losing them altogether. The thing is, being friends with her, she'll talk about her boyfriend to you, unaware of how much she's hurting you and you need to decide if you can handle this?
You have the boyfriend to think about too. How will he feel knowing his girlfriend is close friends with another guy? (Would you like that?) My advice to you is to take a step back here. Let her know you're there for her if she needs to talk but she has a boyfriend now and she will be wanting to spend most of her time with him. Saying this to her might let her see just how much she DOES feel for you and has taken you for granted.
If she doesn't see you for a while then she might miss you more than she realises. Meanwhile I suggest you get out more and meet new friends, male AND female. If you two are meant to be then you will but don't sit there and fret about it. Move on, keep busy and things will work out in the end, I'm sure of it.
Eve
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