A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've always identified myself as bisexual. Even though I have fancied women and maybe shared the odd kiss, I have never been seriously involved with another woman, and have always dated men. I'm currently single. I've recently met a girl, who is also bisexual, who I really like. We went out the other night and shared a kiss and it was great. Shes really funny ad cool and we get on really well. Thing is, she now wants to go on a date. Like a proper date; dinner and everything! I was really cool with kissing her and everything but now that shes mentioned "date", I feel absaloutely sick with nerves. I dunno whats wrong with me but I feel like I did I when I had my first boyfriend. I don't know what to do. I don't have a problem with people knowing im bisexual, and I let this girl hold my hand and kiss me in public, so that's not the problem here. The problem is, when I tink of actually going on a date, formalising it I guess, I just get really anxious and worried and nervous. I'm usually very confidant around men, but with women it's a different story. I don't know what to say to her, I don't how to touch another women - all I've done is kiss other girls, never anythin serious, and I feel like I'm the virgin here all over again. Please help. I like this girl but I feel terrified at the thought of going on a date with her.
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female
reader, loving arms +, writes (6 February 2009):
well it's only a 'date' there are no rules you don't have to sleep with her just because you go on a date. Take things slowly see what does or doesn't happen. You have nothing to loose
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 It sounds like your heart isn't quite all the way into bisexuality. That, or you're just reeeaaalllyyy nervous about your first date. Heck, I was super nervous about my first date with a boy, I'd get the same jitters with a woman.
I went through a bisexuality phase in my life. I'm not implying that you're in a phase, but sometimes that'll happen. Finally I figured out that even though I can kiss a girl, hold hands, talk for endless hours, etc., that was pretty much all I could do. The thought of a relationship with a woman sounded exhausting and not fulfilling what-so-ever. Not to mention, anything other than kissing a woman just sort of skeeves me out rather than turns me on. Boobs don't do anything for me. I've got a pair and that's really all I need. In other words, I just wanted super close girl friends, not a girlfriend.
It's totally okay if you're "straight but not narrow" - a cliche, but a good one. But, what the hell? Go on that date and find out for yourself if you're feeling it. And, don't try to throw yourself into a box. There's a lot of gray area between gay-bi-straight.
Good luck!
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