A
male
age
41-50,
*eegee
writes:Me and my girlfriend met via an internet dating website and after having corresponded for some time decided to meet up. We have now been going out for 3 months and although we only get to see each other over weekends (we live and work 60+miles away from each other)and during her holidays (she is a secondary school teacher) I really think we are destined to be together. OK so now you're thinking why am I on this site?The problem lies around her relationship with her family and in particular her little brother. I'm 26, she is 22 and her little brother is 12. She has a middle brother too, he is 17. She is very close to her family and has moved back to live with them after she broke up from her ex after she discovered he was cheating on her. They had been going steady for 3 years since Uni. I don't want her to give up her close relationship with her family as this is something I really like about her and her family. My family is almost the opposite ,none of us live within 60 miles of each other and even as kids me and my sister did our own thing! Problem is though her and her brother seem almost too close to me. If I'm up at her's for a weekend she'll spend a lot of time messing with him letting him climb all over her, cuddling holding hands then she'll turn to me and say she's not very good at public displays of affection hence why she won't sit down next to me?!? Don't get it myself but she says she's always been this way and for some odd reason it's always been different with her little brother. Plus she's recently been asking if it's OK for him to come down with her some weekends to mine. I don't mind the kid. TO be honest I quite like him. But don't want him with us all the time. Also she really upset herself this weekend cos she thinks she's beeing a crap sister spending time with me of a weekend instead of with him. Any ideas/ insight would be much appreciated. I do really love her and when we spend time alone I feel liek I'm on another planet I'm so happy. Don't want my concerns to get in the way of this and spoil thing s between us but I was just never that close with my sis and don't understand their relationship. Help???
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reader, Iguana +, writes (12 November 2007):
Talk to her about it. It sounds like she's just got a very good bond with her brother that has come from being protective of him as the eldest sibling. I'm like that with my sister, I won't let anything hurt her and she's 7 years my junior. If it's bothering you as much as you say it is then just talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. The only way to sort this out is between you two.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): I understand that you like your alone time with her, but I think that you can upset her greatly if you say the wrong thing. This relationship is very new so I suggest if you do not mind having the kid around you can make plans to do things with him and then others times you can make plans to do adult things with your girlfriend. It sounds to me like the only way for the relationship to work is if you enjoy being with the brother as much as she does.
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