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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello. I am currently dating a great guy. We've been together for 3 1/2 months, and just last week he really caught me off guard while we were in really heavy traffic. We were goofing off, laughing and singing and stuff, when he stopped and looked at me suddenly and said "I love you". The problem: I laughed! I am not a very outwardly emotional girl, and often am scared of being too deep with men. I have been told I laugh in awkward situations (such as hearing when someone has died) because it is another way of expressing myself. I do not mean to make light of things, but it's my nature. Well I think I crushed him. I felt terrible, but we had been joking around and honestly, it came out of nowhere. I could have corrected it by saying "I love you too" but I wasnt ready. Isn't just 3 1/2 months early? I thought it over, and I truley know I do love him so I think I am now ready, but I haven't much courage to do so. He has been acting like he never said it since then, and I dont blame him. I apologized right away, but he said forget it. If anyone knows what I might say to ease this, please tell me! Thank You very much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2006): Ah, something similar but more brutal happened to me. It not only crushes us, but it stomps on our pride. For a guy like me (him?) to say "I love you", we're basically giving our most vulnerable part of ourselves away - leaving it opened to risk an attack or criticism. Though we may automatically feel, "Oh no! Did I just confessed?" - we actually hope that the person receiving the comment would say, "I love you too".
Oh the sad torment! For our hearts to be so easily crushed by the laughter or indifference from a woman! [sobs] ;-]
He's probably still hurting inside. Of course, he will be 'a man' about it and swallow it. Hmmm... I always tell my partner, "Never EVER apologize to me, if you can't correct your mistakes." Because it makes it so much worst and makes me extra angry.
So what can you do? Continue to do what you do for him and for the relationship. Gradually express your love for him, and eventually, in the 'right' mood and time, you can also confess your love for him too. If I confess my love for my partner, I rather she express it through action afterwards.
It's tough for us to confess you know?
A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (10 February 2006):
 oh dear! you need to tell him what you have just told use, if you dont open up to this guy then your just going to leave him totally crushed, if you know you love him then just tell him, i was in the same situation once as you but i didnt laugh at the guy but was just silent , but just tell him you love him and explain to him why you laughed, trust me get this off your chest and you will feel heaps better for it. and im sure if he likes you he will understand.
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