A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi I joined this site because i keep feeling as though im going to loose my boyfriend, we've known each other for years now but have only just started dateing everyone that knows us has said 'finally youre together.'I love him and he knows this also he tells me he loves me too but i dont think in the same way as me.I told him the other night that if we ever split up i dont think i could stay around our town cus it would kill me to see him with anyone else, he was shocked at this but couldnt understand why and i told him because i have loved him for so long.Really dont know whether to just forget about what we spoke about and just play it cool or to do something. im scared of losing someone that i've loved for so long and also the best thing thats happend to me in a long time.Do you have any thoughts coming from a man i mean thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): I am not a man, but I think you need to back off a bit. Don't be telling this guy he is your world and you love him so much. Let him be the one pursuing you and trying to win your love. It gives him space and when he does say or do something you will know for sure its from his heart not just him replying to your professions of undying love. Its just more appealing for a girl not to be too serious too soon. Also for your own sake you ought to try to actually own some feelings that you can in fact live without him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): heya girl!
i feel like this too! i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and known him for 5, and i feel like i will loose him.
infact i feel like i will loose nybody i loose at any moment, i find it scary. i fear us breaking up or something happning to him and he thinks its crazy...
i reckon its a sign that you love him tooo much. you probably aint use to having something tooo good, (like me) youre afraind that all good things cme to an end.
my only advise is that you savour the present. we never know what is going to happen next year,tmoro, or even in the next second. enjoy what you have with your boyfriend. if you feel insecure about anything, you should speak to him.
sit down and ask him how he feels about your relationship, ask him how strong your relationship is, ask him about where you may be heading (dont make it to full on tho, just a casual convo)--this should put your mind at ease a little bit.
also, have you lost anybody that was close to you, previous boyf? family member?...if so...then there is a clear indication that you are now questioning your status of your current relationship. I lost some family members, and since then ive felt really attached to the people around me. if this is the case, go to you GP and they can refer you to some grievence counselling.
But please dont worry, cuz otherwise youre missing out on vaulable time which could be spent on smooochinnng, canoooodling and being full on naughty:)...seriously, whats gna happen is gna happen, because its written in our fate,just enjoy what you both have.
god bless and lots of love
friend xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): I don't know if this helps, but here goes.
I'm a guy, and my girl also once told me, when I asked if she wants to come with me and my 3 best friends to the sea side during summer holidays, she doesn't want to go because she is afraid that we might break up until then.
That felt like a kick in the chest.. I didn't know what she was thinking, I started doubting her love, and I still don't know exactly how she feels. Nowadays, she doesn't really have the will to do almost anything because she's tired...
Anyway, what I wanted to say is: Think about what you're going to say. If you tell something even you aren't sure about, you might confuse the other person a lot more than you think..
Also, doubt and fear are those "starter things", the things that lead to break ups. The more you think about losing him, the closer to break up you will get.
I think you should question and test your feelings. And stop doubting and being afraid. If you trusted your partner more, maybe you wouldn't be so afraid.
D.
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