A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for 2 years with this guy that I was head over heels for. Then earlier this year I met someone else. We were just friends, and we met up, ate at each other's houses, watched films. We spoke to each other about our problems and after a while I realised he was exactly like me. We suffer the same medical problems and emotional problems. We confided in each other and I fell in love with him. This guy was there for me more than the boyfriend I had been with for years. So I left my boyfriend thinking maybe something would happen.It did. We slept together a few times. We were both just getting out of relationships that hurt us both and it just felt right. For 3 weeks we weren't friends, we were lovers, even if it did feel distant. He obviously never felt what I feel for him.When he rejected me I tried moving on with someone else but this "friend" wouldn't let me be with him. He was moving on too with another girl, he made me jealous on purpose by talking about her all the time and constantly went on about how much he hated my new boyfriend. We hit huge problems...now I'm single and he's still with that girl. Now it's like I don't exist to him, and I always convince myself that I've moved on and I don't love him. But yesterday I saw him..just for 3 seconds, for the first time in months, and I nearly started crying just looking at him. I'd give an arm just to be his friend and I know that his new relationship is disfunctional and won't last. But I swear he doesn't talk to me anymore because she has a problem with me.I don't know what to do. I don't want him like a boyfriend, just my friend, like we were before. And he says he's just busy and can't see me but I know it's not true. He got drunk a few weeks ago and even called me up to say he missed me too...I just want to stop being in love with someone who can't just be honest with me. Does he care? Does he not? Does he really miss me too? Why did he reject me and ruin my new relationships...?I just don't know what to do. What can I do to stop being in love with him? I can't keep missing him for the rest of my life. I don't think I'll ever stop at this rate. I'd die for his girlfriend because she makes him happy. How can I make it stop? Advice...anything please?
View related questions:
drunk, fell in love, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 I don't know what he thinks, tough to tell sometimes. In his shoes I would probably be concerned that spending time with an ex-lover would complicate my current relationship, but he may have other reasons.
Unfortunately, when you leave one relationship directly for another person, the new one usually doesn't last.
As for what to do about your feelings, all things fade in time. The only way to speed up the reocvery process is to spend quality time with other friends. You could try to find a new boyfriend, but I'd recommend waiting for a while to get comfortable with yourself as a single person. Once you can be happy and confident while single, you'll be much more prepared to deal with realtionships.
...............................
|
