A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:iwant to get married soon and i dont know what to do concerning my mum.i grew up with my mum and as time went on she changed my surn name to her father's name,which made my relationship with my father's family weak,so i did all to process a change of name and avidavit and later published it in the newspaper. now that iam fully matured my mum keeps stressing me that since my dad didnt contribute to my growing up that he won't be involved in my wedding and in my culture, d father must be around for the wedding of the child since he married the mother in the right way.what do i do?because i dont want to offend both parties and i also want to get married peacefully?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (17 January 2009):
 This is the problem when you have a church wedding. Those tiny details seem to appear in the last minute and Murphy’s Law goes into action.
It is just a matter of asking your father to come to your wedding even when your mother disagrees. If it is the tradition in your country then your father will follow tradition and your mother will stand down. Now if there is a rift between your father and mother, then the only way is for someone to substitute your father’s place should he fail appear or refused to be present on your wedding day.
If this was a civil wedding, it would be much simpler and less expensive; it will be the groom, bride and two witnesses.
The importance of wedding is not about who is there and who is not. What is important is the man and the woman vows before God, to have and to hold. ‘Till death do you part.
http://www.actionext.com/names_d/don_mclean_lyrics/to_have_and_to_hold.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FULXLzn4Gl0
Tradition and culture are not that important. Your big day will push through with or with out your father present. The most important thing that you must have as a bride is love for your groom.
LOVE, is the only thing that matters.
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