A
female
age
22-25,
*lee
writes:Dear Cupidi have been in this relationship for four years with this guy i love him very much and i know that he loves me too.the problem is tht this past week the was a lady who came to him and told him that he has a 4 or 5 year old girl whit her and said he was the father,he didnt know about the child till now. there are buzy with the test and everthing. am so confuse about this problem. he still says that he love me but how can i put this thing behide me please help me as soon as u can Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, damluvaam  + ♥, writes (9 March 2009):
 If he has a daughter then he has a daughter. I don't see what you need to "put behind" you...? It wasn't like he went out while he was with you and got someone pregnant, was it? He slept with the woman 5 years ago and she got pregnant. She never told him and now he has to deal with it. Actually, that is a fairly sizable worry for a lot of us men - having someone come back from our past and introduce us to a child we never knew about. If the child is his, I think you need to help HIM adjust to the change he'll be going through.
It will work out. Don't take it out on the child. Let him be a father, if he is.
Good Luck
D.
A
female
reader, PeanutButter + ♥, writes (9 March 2009):
 Im sorry that you have this situation to deal with and realise it coul be quite upstting but this woman has bought this to you and it seems that he is doing the right thing for being tested.
If the child does in fact turn out to be his it will be a big shock to both of you as this child may become part of your lives permenently and he will have to discuss his options with her as far as being a father is concerned - if you both love one another you will come through it.
Some tender love and care between the both of you and openness with your feelings at this stage, bewtween the both of you, will be very important in seeing this through.
good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, crazykit666  +, writes (9 March 2009):
Whether or not he has a child shouldn't effect how you feel for him. I understand that you feel confused as this is a huge surprise, but this is his problem. Would it be so bad if he did have a child to loook after one day a week? Even if you decide that you don't want to stay with him, you need to be supportive of him right now. He needs you alot, and when he comes out the other end of this situation he will appreciate all the support and understanding that you gave. Let us know how you get on? x
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