A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,This is my third semester at college. During my first semester, I was so busy I didn't have time to make friends. So to fix that, I joined a club for the 2nd semester, hoping I can find people to befriend.The club I joined was a badminton club, which is just basically a racquet sport. I was the lowest skilled player there, and I didn't really have fun playing and I didn't win any of my matches, but I really tried to make friends and improve my game.I know a few faces now and a few more fb buddies but I don't feel too welcomed either. After matches we would go eat and etc, but I would always be left out in the conversations. I tried to make friends with this guy named S, but he kept calling me weird and brushing me off after we talked about video games and anime shows. Then I made another friend named B and all she did was say I was doing awful in badminton..I invited another girl named K over to my house because she wanted to learn how to make a particular soup that I knew how to cook, and she doesn't really invite me out anywhere even though we spent hours watching movies/talking about girl stuff.Now on FB during the summer, everyone from my team is hanging out and going out to eat, going out to movies, etc. I feel a little left out. It's not that I did anything weird, yeah I wasn't very good at playing badminton but I really did try to talk to all of them. It's not like they can't contact me. They all have me on facebook and they have my cell. Now that the fall semester is coming back, school is offering a badminton class that everyone in that club is taking. I'm the only one that isn't.They keep asking me why I won't join, and I want to say that the only reason why I joined was to make friends. But it seems like they aren't interested in being my friend.):Help me out here?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2012): just stop trying and be yourself true freinds find each other not one find the other
A
male
reader, Leykis101 +, writes (27 July 2012):
 What kind of friends are you looking for? I'm not making light of your question, but to make friends is kind of like meeting someone you fall in love with to me, when you go out looking to make friends, it's the same as if you go out trying to find someone to love.It will usually end in disaster.If badminton isn't something you truly love, and your not very good at it, your a little old to just kind of take up a sport, especially when it's competitive like college badminton, but I don't go to the gym, and play pickup games of basketball with the hope of meeting friends.We are their playing a game, generally while playing a game, it's a time to turn your train of thought to focusing on your performance, as if your not paying attention you'll not perform well, and in turn not do good, especially if your trying to make friends during the game, I'm not familiar with badminton, but it cant be any different then any other sport, to make friends, you've got the right idea, go to places where people with similar interest are likely to be.I don't know that it's a very good idea to use sporting events as a tool for making friends, for the reason i just stated.Maybe try a sport where your collectively around the person, or people, like softball, where your in the dugout and you can use that time to mingle, sometimes people will get extremely pissed off if they are very concentrated on a sport, and someone is breaking their concentration, maybe go to a bar, or pub, or go dancing.A HUGE!! reason your having problems, is the fact you're not too good at badminton. If you were it would be way different.It's almost like you've set yourself up to fail, don't you have any extra curricular interests that you can take up at your university? something your very into, have done your whole life, and you know somewhat well? Im telling you now, you go into something you are experienced at, people will naturally gravitate towards you, just like in anything, I hope this helps a little.
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