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male
age
36-40,
*LcoolJ
writes: Well, it is like that: I met this girl from Italy in april. I knew from the very beginning that she was having another relationship. It never stopped her from playing with me. I starting falling in love when she decided to come to my native country for a holiday, 11 days. It was really nice at the Black Sea, we were together and I felt that maybe she would leave her boyfriend and start something with me. She went away but two days later she bought a ticket to come and see me again in Germany, where I study. This made me believe that she also accepted the whole thing seriously. She came in September, only to spend 5 days with me and then she left. Then I saw it in her eyes at the airport...she wanted to end it. I could not believe that she indeed was just playing with me... but she was. I decided that I have to do something so that I don't lose her so I bought a ticket to Italy to go visit her. I said it to her and she started saying that we should forget everything because it was a mistake and she would not come to see me if I went there. I flew to Venice. She didn't come. I only saw her the last 2 days(I spent 4 days there). I wanted to put an end by telling her but instead we just spent some time together and I knew it was nice also for her. Now I am back in Germany but I bought one more ticket and I am planning to go on the upcoming Thursday. Should I? I mean, she agreed to come and see me this time, but what would be the difference? I would only have one day and I have to fly back. Now I haven't written a single sms for 9 days. She doesn't write either. Maybe I should better leave it this way and don't go. How can it be so complicated?? Sorry for the long question, it was the shortest way to put it:) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LLcoolJ +, writes (10 December 2006):
LLcoolJ is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much, both of you:) Well, I am anyway approaching the outcome, whatever it is. But I think you are completely right about her being Italian. She is indeed very much afraid of changes. And moreover, she is 25 and I am 23, maybe she believes I am too young for her. Well, I guess everything will cleap up very soon. Thanks again for your answers!
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (9 December 2006):
 Phone her before going and talk about the whole thing, I am Spanish and Italians are similar I feel she feels commited to her previous relationship and guilty to give the sack to her'boyfriend' though it is for sure she has passionate feelings for you but maybe she decided to choose him on distance grounds, family relations and friednship links of her boyf with her social sircle and family, I think u should be sweet and show u care on the phone so she notices ur the right choice despite her ethical conditionings and her responsibility feelings towards the other boy, if it doesn't work then u should look around and maybe move on, take time and go slow but stay string for a time maybe a month or 3 weeks to see what happens
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2006): I would suggest you don't go and leave it for her to make the next move. If she has genuine feelings for you, whe will also long to be with you, if not then at least you know and you can move on with your life. Good luck
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