A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my partner for nearly 3 years and I do love him very much but he won't commit, but now I have really strong feelings for my son's teacher. I asked him for a drink he said no but every time I see him he gives me a certain smile and people say he's always looking at me. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat do i do i love my partner but also fancy my sons teacher hes turned down my offer for a drink is he interested or not
A
male
reader, Who  +, writes (6 May 2009):
 Just got back here and noticed the latest response.
“…but its driving me mad cant get him out my head…”
If asking for a way to have this stop driving you mad, I can suggest telling your partner now would be a good time for him to put some romance back into your relationship. If he has been thinking of anything like splurging on a night out or going away for the week end, but has never gotten to the point of doing it, he should do it now.
“…1 min hes really talkative then the next he dont even notice me…”
Please note this, and the fact he has declined your offers for a drink, likely means you are not in his head driving him crazy. Suggest planning your next step accordingly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your reply but its driving me mad cant get him out my head 1 min hes really talkative then the next he dont even notice me
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A
male
reader, Who +, writes (27 April 2009):
"I've been with my partner for nearly 3 years and I do love him very much but he won't commit..."
Decide what you want/need from your current relationship. Ask your partner what he wants/needs. Tell him your wants/needs and you two should discuss where you each would like the relationship to be in 2, 5, 10 years (forever?) Tell him you are getting close to the point of needing a commitment from him or you are going to have to think about breaking up. Be prepared for this to be a long back-and-forth process of you two figuring out where your relationship is going.
I assume your current partner is not your son’s father? And I assume your son’s school year ends around June, and he will not have his current teacher again? I think this gives you the time needed to figure out your current relationship. I’m guessing starting something with your son’s teacher while he is in his class will create all sorts of issues with your son. If anything is going to happen with the teacher it would be best if it happens after your son is out of his class.
"I asked him for a drink he said no but every time I see him he gives me a certain smile and people say he's always looking at me."
When you asked him for the drink it put the idea in his head and he has been thinking about it ever since, thinking maybe he should have accepted the offer. If you get a chance to talk to him casually give him another little nudge. Say if he asked you for a drink, or to go someplace else to chat, you will say yes. Leave it at that and let him decide what to do. If he asks, keep it light. Just get to know him a little better and let him know a bit about you. Don’t tell him your feelings yet but see if you can figure out if he is involved with someone too, like ask him if he has plans for the summer.
If you and your current partner stay together, you haven’t started anything with the teacher (except a friendly chat.) If you break up you can try to see more of the teacher after the school year. I know this sounds conniving but I’ve noticed more than one woman when sensing a break-up trying to get the next man lined up.
If you end up together with the teacher, be prepared for some issues with your son. If you current partner if your son’s father, be prepared for major, perhaps out-of-control issues.
Best of luck and hope this helps.
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