A
female
age
36-40,
*liss84
writes:Hello, I am a first year university student, started September 2006 and a about a month later I strongly fell for a girl in my course. I told her how I feel about her, despite her being straight and in a relationship. I know for 99.9% that nothing can happen between us. But that was 6 months ago, I am still hung over her! I find it very hard to think about anyone else, or accept any offers I recieve because I don't want to be with anyone else. Almost can't bare the thought of it. I don't think I am in love with her, but it is seriously hindering my life! I tried everything in my power to forget about her..but nothing has worked so far. Would very much appreciate any advice given. Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2007): Well that's the thing with falling for someone whom you feel will most likely never accept you. People often say "If you don't try, you will never know, and you will regret never knowing if it could have worked or not." It's true, but sometimes there are things in life that require tact and self control. Yes, it eats away at you, I know, I was there recently. It's exactly like "I've never tried LSD before, I want to, but if I do, I might get myself killed", etc. You weigh your options, and you have to look at what the most likely possibilities are.
I totally agree that if you never ask, you may regret never knowing, BUT I also totally agree to use tact and to think more carefully, rather than act solely based on emotion - as many people do in all aspects of life which more often than not in my experience, either through self or witnessing others, have come out with negative results. These negatives are the lost of friendship, lost of trust in their partners, etc, etc, etc. Yes, there is a chance for positive result, but no one knows that more than the deed itself.
As for trying to forget about her, only way is through self meditation - whether you're strong enough for that or not. If not, then you just have to fill your life in with other things, other women, other potential love interests. Hell, I gradually 'lessened' my desires for my target over months because of the amount of work and games I've been associated to lately. 8]
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