A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can't seem to ejaculate while having sex i have to masterbate to climax. Me an my fiancee usually have sex for one to two hours and i have to masterbate to climax what could be done to help with this or is it normal.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 It could be a number of things. If she gets really wet, it could be that you lose the sensation and cannot climax. Try different things, for instance maybe if she gives you oral sex, you'll be able to climax. Also try anal sex and see if that works. I really think it's more about the "tightness" factor that could be causing you some grief. If none of these seem to work for you, try sex therapy and maybe you'll be able to get to the bottom of what's on your mind.
A
male
reader, SumYungGuy +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Daniel might be on to something. However, how often do you masturbate vs how often do you have sex? The ratio could have a direct effect if the ratio of masturbation to sex is high. Reason being is you've gotten used to a certain touch, with a certain amount of pressure at a certain speed for a certain amount of time - and her vagina isn't able to do what your hand is doing. Try to decrease the amount of times you masturbate vs have sex. AND, here's a thought - maybe she might want more sex. After you've given her a few orgasms (which has GOT to be case since you're not cumming anytime soon) take a break. Cuddle and talk about something really arousing. Take a warm bath or shower. Eat a light snack - naked. Then tell her you want to make love to her some more - she just might be inclined to take you up on the offer. Then you might be able to cum this time since you would have been having sex prior to this for an hour or so and now you're at it again. The build up might be just the thing you need to cum.
Try relaxing. I know, easier said than done. But try to relax and focus on the moment - the sex. Really focus on the feeling of being inside of her - the different sensations you're feeling. When you're thrusting in and out (or she's bouncing up and down - which ever) try to REALLY focus on your penis and how this feels to you.
And if you're using a condom (which you SHOULD be), try using a thinner condom. You know, the ones that state "it feels like having nothing on at all". Try that. The double-steel belted-radial rubber may be too thick and could decrease the sensation and sensitivity.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Rather than "normal" I would prefer the word "usual". This is not usual. My guess is, you have some psychological issues. Maybe you should think hard about this, as it will be a heavy burden on your girl and you. Can you imagine having to wait for someone for two hours?
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A
female
reader, Rymo  +, writes (1 August 2007):
Wow you’re every woman’s dream! Hey it's only a problem if you think it is!
Do you think maybe that you’re always conscious of this "issue" now, and that while having sex you are always thinking about it (even if its in the back of your head) that when you want to cum, your going to have to finish yourself?
For a woman sex and especially climaxing is in the mind as well as in the body. We have to be relaxed and comfortable. I think that maybe you always feel a little "tense" almost, awkward or not relaxed.
Try just letting go of any frustration or expectation, don’t even think about it. Just give up! Take it slow and if you haven’t already, voice your concerns with your fiancée. Get it out in the open - paranoia is never good!
You are a man and you have a willy - it's not impossible for you to cum during sex, of course it isn’t!
Just let that guard of yours down and relax, so what if you don’t cum for 2 hours! I bet your fiancée doesn’t mind!
Alternatively, if you don’t cum – don’t do it yourself either! Just leave it, see what happens the next time, and the next and the next – you will have to cum eventually!
There are things you can do, if it really bothers you – so try it!
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): Honestly, not much. You can go to your doctor and ask him why this is occuring. I have heard a few men who have this problem. Try a different position or maybe experiment a little. Ask your partner and see what she says maybe she will have some tips. I hope this helped a little.
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