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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend gets extremely mad when I go out. It's gotten to the point where I have to ask permission or lie about it. He is very protective and is a jealous person. I try to explain to him that I love him and wouldn't do anything to hurt him, but this doesn't seem to make a difference. Sometimes I think maybe he has a guilty conscience, but he never really goes out unless I'm with him. How can I make both of us happy while I'm out with the girls?
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female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (18 November 2005):
 Lying doesn't really get you anywhere in a relationship. You shouldn't have to go to such measures just so you can go out with the girls, especially if you're not doing anything wrong.
Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with him about how he is controlling and you don't understand why since there is no reason to be. It's not good to have someone so jealous and protective, this usually just means they don't trust you and relationships don't last too long if this is the case. There has to be trust in a relationship for it to work. Him not letting you go out with your girlfriends is a sign he has no trust in you and this isn't fair to either one of you.
You have to lie to him and he gets all jealous if you don't.
Maybe to make you both happy while you go out, tell him to go out with his boys or tell him to go hang out with them for awhile so he's not just thinking about what you're doing.
You could ask him why he is like he is. Did something happen in his past that let him to not beable to trust you like he should? There's gotta be something about this that answers these questions and helps you out.
Good Luck!
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