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*exasgirl
writes: I am dating this woman and she says that she loves me. She's very pretty but she won't take a picture for me. We have not met face to face so I really want her to take a picture for me. I have one but all I asked for was another. Am I in the wrong for getting so upset because she refuses to take a picture for the person she loves? Is it too much for her to do if she says she loves me the way she does? Reply to this Question
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reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (23 May 2005):
Just a question..how can you date someone NOT face-2-face??
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reader, heyitsme09876 +, writes (23 May 2005):
I can think of a couple of possibilities as to why she is refusing to send you another picture, and I hope you will consider each one carefully.1) She isn't really the girl in the picture you already have, and can't get another picture of whomever that girl is.2) She is the girl in that picture, but it was a particularly good picture and she would prefer not to send you another that reveals some of her flaws.3) You're creeping her out because you haven't even met face-to-face yet, and you're asking for more pictures. I know from experience that she's probably thinking,"what on earth could this guy possibly need more than one picture of me for?"4) She is one of those girls that wants someone to put her personality and her intellect before her looks, and by putting such importance on getting another picture she feels that you are only interested in her physically. A real downer if she really has fallen for you!5) Maybe she doesn't have a lot of pictures of herself.Try asking her why she doesn't want to send you another picture. Explain why you want it, but don't be sugary sweet or she'll get suspicious. You have to remember that there are certain security issues with getting involved with someone you haven't met, especially to a girl. If she still doesn't want to give you a picture, let it go already! Is it really that big of a deal?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (23 May 2005):
 Well, yes. You're wrong for getting so upset over something so minor and using it as a yardstick of her affection. If ever you find yourself saying/thinking "If she really loved me, she would..." it's always a red flag. Particularly in such early stages of your relationship that you haven't met yet!So, while you're wrong to make a big issue of it, she's wrong to stonewall, as if she has something to hide. In fact, by her reluctance, I'd suggest she might BE hiding something from you. To be fair, that "something" could be out of her control. The photo that she sent you is very likely the very best photo ever taken of her. It also might be ten years old, or predate a disfiguring accident, or have been taken before she gained 30 kilos.You could end this whole episode by actually meeting in the flesh, don't you think? Maybe you should stop worrying about a silly photo and make plans to meet this woman, if you believe that you love each other, and see how it plays out.If for some reason, it's complely impossible to meet her and sort this out, then I'd tread cautiously. There's some reason behind her reluctance and there are quite a few disconcerting possibilities why.
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