A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2years (with a 1 year break between) He is my first boyfriend and i do love him. However I sometimes get doubts about our relationship. Its nothing he has done as he is wonderful to me and always puts 100% effort. I have never had another relationship before him and i feel i am always wondering if there is a better suited person for me to give me those massive butterflies I have never felt before. My bf and i are very comfortable with eachother and we have a lot of fun but i still get occasional doubts. I feel bad for having these doubts and don’t have the guts to break up with him of fear I will regret it for the rest of my life. In our 1 year break I appreciated him a lot as everyone I met I compared to him. Sometimes I think the only reason I doubt him is because hollywood has made me think relationships are meant to be this fairytale? We are talking about marriage and whilst I am excited I am also scared that in 10 years I might bet bored or my eyes will start wondering. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): Every day we are bombarded with images of happy couples in love by the media. Pretty much all the movies, tv shows, song lyrics... they are all about love. But in reality, love (and I mean mutual love, that makes both of you ecstatically happy and makes you feel butterflies in your stomach)is not that common. It took me a while to realize that not all of those couples I see in the streets are madly in love with each other. In fact, most of them are not. There are more practical than romantic couples out there. Most people feel a strong need for a relationship so they find a partner. Finding love can take decades, and that is why many people settle for less than a perfect (based on love)relationship.
A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (26 October 2010):
 If you've broken up before then you need to look at the real reasons why that happened break or no brake. Usually if it didn't work out before it's bound to repeat itself again until you realise he's not REALLY the one for you. Unfortunatly for some, it takes the span of a lifetime to figure that one out.
If your eyes are wondering or even your mind wonders what else is out there or what else could be then he's deffinatley not the one and not a great example to compare other guys with.
It's very possible that you have not really felt a strong true love yet at it's fullest potential. But love is expressed in so many different ways and is as unique to one person and each individual person you are with just as each person looks different and no person looks the same, love acts the same to each person you'll love.
I think you have a lot of thinking to do and maybe it's a good idea to see a councellor to help yourself around this one. They will help you see what you can't see right now.
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A
female
reader, amyxavier  +, writes (26 October 2010):
if you are having doubts dont marry him unless u r sure life is not like the fairy tale stories but u should feel some sort of connection with him maybe there is a chemical atraction between you u say when yuo were apart from him u compared every one to him that is love no one could compare to him if u are not ready to settle wiht him and feel like u r stringing him alone then do the kind thing and let him go but to me sounds like u love the guy good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): I think you should relax on the expectation of having the 'butterflies' rapture not live up to what you thought it should be. I'm 27 and I am a year into my very first relationship, and I'm just beginning to feel those butterflies that you're talking of. Even though you may feel that life has short-changed you on this relationship for right now, I think that you shouldn't worry about the rapture engulfing you and the relationship right off the bat. In a way I think you're lucky that the lack of butterflies has allowed you to remain level-headed... those butterflies can be VERY dangerous for impairing judgement and making wrong decisions. Give the relationship time - if you think that there is momentum in the relationship as far as your futures together, then you'll likely see the momentum in the emotions develop into that rapture further on down the road as well, where you'll be at a point in the relationship where you feel truly safe and loved and can you can wallow in all it's wonder with confident abandonment. good luck
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