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I have lost my self esteem. How an I get it back again?

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Question - (6 October 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 October 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am 21 years old and have real self esteem issues. I have been with my boyfriend for just under a year and for the first half of this year he built up my self confidence from basically nothing. Now I can feel myself slipping back to where I was. I don't believe him when he tells me I am beautiful. I wait daily for him to run off with some stunner. It makes him upset that I am like this, but I can't help it. I have lovely friends and family and they help me lots. But, esteem is still low. What can i do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

Self esteem is just that, it comes from inside of you, not from someone else.

Why don't you try some professional therapy to get to the bottom of it and to learn ways to increase your self esteem. Depression and anxiety can also contribute to feeling low about oneself and you may benefit from drug therapy or a change in diet or even excercise.

I would start with an appointment with your regular doctor and ask for a referral to a psychologist who can help you.

It will be a really good thing to do for yourself and it is a sign of strength to recognize that you have a problem like this and are taking the steps to overcome it.

You will, you are pretty young and you have some work to do on yourself and your issues, that's all.

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A female reader, Al needs advice United Kingdom +, writes (6 October 2009):

If you keep putting strain on your relationship by seeking validation from your boyfriend, who does love you by the way, then you are going to put in under tremendous strain and he will get fed up with it. Get on line and look at what you can do to build your self esteem, got to the doctors to check you are not depressed or anything. From there focus on doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Stop thinking so negative, change it, only you can.

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