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I have let the past go but he hasnt!

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 August 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 August 2007)
A female Australia age 51-59, *edup writes:

I had a huge argurment with my boyfriend over his ex. They were together for 15 yrs broken up for 2 yrs. She is being clingy as she is much older than he, he feels guilty for leaving her. I acted irrationally, i lost my cool and sooped on him and friend of mine called her house asking for him. I said i was sorry I told the whole truth that it was bad judgement on my part it wont happen again i should trust and understand and him better.

He came over last night and said he wants me loves me but he feels confused and needs to see a little less of me and spend some time with her to make her feel better over the invasion. We made love last night but he didn't spend the night..

I do love him, but i really don't know where he is coming from, he said he was getting over her and i brought him right back to where he was when we met - he made me feel guilty.

Should i just back off and wait and see? We are planning to leave for a vacation in 10 dys and i am feeling out in the cold.

The only thing i am worried about if if he is playing me...i.e wants me but also he is holding on to her for some reason be it economic sex or other. I just dont get it when you are in a relationship you let go of the past you don't bring it with you...i am worried that if i give him too much space he will think he can get away with anything later...

For some reason i am feeling that i am caught up in a game of some kind. I have been clear of my feelings in this relationship and have let the past go....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007):

i am in the similar situation. i am still friends with my ex. my partner now hates it. .my partner goes on about it all the time .the best thing u can do is not push him bout it.if he wants her back he wouldnt be with u.she is probarley trying to whind u up .dont let it.just be cool bout it.

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A male reader, somewhat_anonymous United States +, writes (8 August 2007):

After two years, he should be over it. But perhaps he is trying to let go, but she won't let him. This is a very touchy situation. Anything you do could push him the other way, especially if she is laying some guilt trips on him.

If you decide that you can't keep doing it this way, you should probably make him decide. But don't just listen to me. See what other people post on here.

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