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I have given my heart to a widower, do I wait patiently or move on?

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Question - (3 June 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 June 2012)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am deeply in love with a Widower with two children, I have two of my own. We have a fantastic relationship in two separate homes. He lost his wife four years ago to a terrible disease which his kids have 50% chance of developing. He says he couldn't marry me coz he doesn't want to loose me too and he doesn't want me to be hurt if his kids develop the same disease as his wife's. He also has some difficulty dealing/accepting my kids as they are more mature than his (although the same age) due to different upbringing. I want to keep waiting, but I don't want to stay if its not going to work...what would you do for love?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 June 2012):

Honeypie agony aunt1. if he is worried if the kids have it, why not have then genetically screened? That way he will know for sure if they have it or not and how to treat them accordingly ( and I mean with medicine).

He will not marry you. The fact that he think he would lose you too, makes no sense. To me that seems like an poor excuse. But I think he is still dealing with the death of his wife.

I don't think he will change his mind about taking what you got further. He is content with the status qou. He's got a partner (sort of) but doesn't have to commit further.

There is also the issue of your kids. Would it be fair to them? Since the guy can't seem to accept your kids.

Sorry.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2012):

N91 agony auntWell he's already told you that he won't marry you, so what are you hoping for exactly?

Are you in a relationship with him? or no?

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