A
male
age
30-35,
*fordj
writes:I need help on fixing my relationship with my gf. To start she is always perfect she has never done anything wrong. I am a very emotional, jelous, and insecure guy and while im being emotional, jelous, or insecure i say very mean things to her and hurt her feelsings really bad. I have done everything wrong i could ever do and i want to fix it before i lose her cause i really need this girl in my life and i need to any advice i can get please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): Hi Hun,
Your also being truthfull now, Thats a good start....
If you no you have these insecuritys you must no how they started to affect your life is there something in your past that has started this love.... First these feelings come from within build up untill you no longer have control over what you want to say and how it comes out, And very hurtfull untrue and nasty things can be said and now as you are realising cant be taken back.. Then afterwards you feel even worse so its a vicious circle..Hunny you have to break that circle, You need to talk to a counsellor about these issues and is there an anger management course you could look into to help, as you say you have got to sort this out love and this would be the right way for helping you and your girlfriend... You have already made the first step and that is the most important one sweetheart to talk as you have in your question is very brave so I do hope you get the help you need, And make sure you let your girl no you are seeking this help, also if you feel at anytime you are having these feelings walk away somewere to think... Start training your mind YOU LOVE HER DONT LOOSE HER GOOD LUCK LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (18 August 2007):
 First I think you must stop seeing her as perfect. She is not. Thinking that will only make you feel worse off and her feeling frustrated. Nobody wants to be looked upon as all perfect. She wants you to love her with all her possible flaws.
Then I think you must start looking for the reason you get these feelings. What is triggering them and why? They are probably connected to something else in your past. You can try talking about it with close family members or/and with good friends. It is also good to speak to a councellor about it. These feelings are common and not unnormal in any way, but they are a problem since they mess your relationship up. Be brave and dug into it and find their origin, or at least find a way to disconnect them with your girlfriend. Hopefully it saves your current relationship, and if too late for that, it will still help you understand more about yourself which will be of good help for you later on in life.
And tell your girlfriend what you told us here. It is good for her to understand what you are going through and that you know that you are treating her unfair and that you are trying to change. It will be easier for her to understand you.
Take care, wish you luck!
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