A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem - obviouslyI had a boyfriend i loved him to pieces we were engaged but he was tragically killed in a road accidentAnyways i have come to terms with it but now i am in a new relationshipI do really care for my new guy but i am unsure how i feelIf am honest am not letting myself as close 2 him as i want i feel kinda distanced because i have centerd my future around someone before and had it ripped to shredsAm not sure if i dont love him or if its because i have put up so many barriers I really need advice hes a great guy and i dont want to risk losing him. i have spoken about how i feel to some extent but his reassurances are not working
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Hay I can only imagine what your going through. Firstly let me say that you are in my prayers. Do you mind me asking how long since the accident happened? Sometimes in life things happen which we may not like nor understand but i truely believe they all happen for a reason. Your boyfriend dying was a tragic accident which you were never prepared for however if someone has come into your life who you feel may be able to take some of that pain, anger away then why not let them?I understand that you are unsure of your feelings however you are the only one who knows the real answer, this new guy needs to be patient (have you been friends for long) as Im sure the last thing he wants to do is rush you. I think you just need to take your time and be honest with each other every step of the way about your feelings and fears.Learning to love someone and to let them in after losing someone who were prepared to spend your life with will be both difficult and scary, however i really believe that going through life being scared to share your heart with someone will cause you more upset than learning to trust your gut about people.Im sorry if you feel ive rambled however on my last note i will like to say - just take your time. You'll know what to do when the times right!Take Care
A
female
reader, becca07 +, writes (12 September 2007):
 heyfirst of all im really sorry for your lost :(i can imagine how you feel i bet its extremly hard 4 u. with this new guy what i would do is try and move on with him. easier said than done of corse. i expect ur boyfriend who u lost is looking down on you, and he wants you to be happy :) take things slowly with your new guy. you cant forget about the boyfriend that was killed but i expect he would really want you to be happy. so take things slow and everything will b fine. take care x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Hi Love,
I understand perfectly how you are feeling, I to lost my boyfriend to suicide nearly 2yrs ago now, I have been in a relationship for over a yr alot of people said it was to soon but without my b/f who was a wonderfull friend I wouldnt have come through quite so strong..
I have on many occation told him to go to leave I have had a terrible fear of loosing him so I tryed not to get close.
He has been wonderfull as I lost my best friend last yr as well, Ive felt at times that I dont want to love him, and this hunny is just guarding your heart as it was broken.
Dont let this terrible tragedy guide your life, we all need someone we cannot go through life not loving anyone for fear of loosing or we would just shut off to everyone.
Let it take its course let him love you and enjoy being loved darling live for the day and enjoy every moment you share with each other and be happy together. if you need a chat at anytime message me im only to happy to chat with you..
TAKE CARE OF BOTH OF YOU WITH MUCH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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