A
female
age
30-35,
*00dl35
writes:For starters i have anxiety and i am always stressed out, and i am nervous when i'm around people i don't know and don't talk to. I don't like trying to make new friends because i always think people don't like me. so this year i was going to do another sport at my school, but i don't want to be alone on the team and not have fun because i'm by myself.I really love this sport but this really scares me. I play another sport for my school, and one of my siblings was on the team so i was fine i guess. Now my sibling is out of the high school and i'm on my own, and i'm scared. I don't like just being there with no one to talk to, thinking no one likes me. What should i do? Just stop playing sports at my school or what? Keep in mind i really love these sports, but if it's going to be like this i'm having second thoughts about playing these sports. Please help. Thank you dearly. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Hey, noodl, Can I use a cheap phrase here? "Chill out". (smile) You are selling yourself way too short....Why are you so convinced no-one likes you...or might could like you? You are "shy"...That is natural and many people are more shy than others. You might try working on being more open and friendly to others, especially team members. Sports are great for people who tend to be a little shy. It can be a good way to become more "aggressive" in personal relationships. Just get out there and go for broke when you are playing. Give cheers and compliments to somebody else who does well. You might be surprized at how they may respond. Best wishes. Tom
A
female
reader, crummyscreenname  +, writes (26 October 2008):
i have had this problem as well. I find a good thing to do is say hello or hi to everyone that you see on a regular basis, even if you're scared...and sound happy to see them! another thing is to find something to compliment about other people. like someone's sweater? tell them! another good thing is to find out what people are interested in and ask them to tell you about it, and get interested in what they're saying!find the girl on the team who is either a)someone who talks to just about anyone or b)someone who seems a little shy as well. the last thing i know of is to just do nice things for people, like make enough cookeis for everyone on the team or something. you may think that people don't like you, and there will always be a few people who don't like you (and in high school this can turn the crowd against you) but usually they just think that you don't like them because you aren't talking to them! plus remember that you already have something in common with the others which is that you like the same sport! that can be a great basis for freindship. and remember to be supportive, encouraging and a good sport, and try not to be mean to anyone. one last thing: even though you're scared, just pretend not to be.fake it till you make it, be cheerful, and soon you'll be having fun with your friends!
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