A
female
age
41-50,
*auraw
writes:Please help, I don't know who to turn to. My partner of 12 years told me a week ago that he no longer loves me and has been feeling this way for months. The reason he gave is that I have been suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness and won't tallk about it and I have drained all the life out of him. He says it is like living with a child. I have a referral to a psychiatrist in a few weeks and he has agreed to come with me to the appointment and try to salvage our relationship, but he can't guarantee that the feelings will come back. I am so confused as to why he is doing this if he doesn't love me anymore and am not sure how to begin to rebuild our relationship. I am hoping that once my mental health is more stable I can get some of the real me (ie the *me* he fell in love with) backDoes anyone have any experience of finding the love again? and any tips on how we can get through the next few weeksMany thanksL x
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female
reader, Rock chick +, writes (25 July 2007):
my ex told me he wanted me out of his life as i was always negative and depressed and was bringing him down, (where he didn't want to be)....the truth was, he had met a younger woman through work and used my personality as an excuse.but, if you are ill either physically or mentally, surely if the person you are with truely loves you, they would want to help, not make you feel worst.
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (25 July 2007):
 My husband told me the same thing almost a year to the day, he said he no lomger loved me and that was after twelve years.
He moved out a moved in with some one else in feb, we are now back together and he tells me daily that he loves me and also that he never stopped loving me he just lost sight of it.
We were both suffering with depression and we did not realise it, maybe with everything that you have been going through yourself and the fact that you have not talked to him about it has caused a similar effect.
I think the fact he is going to the appointment with you says something, and maybe he felt that he needed to do this so you would get the help that you need.
Stay strong, which i know will be hard but talk to each other all the time and he has proved to you that he wants to be there for you so let him be.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): Do you have children? If not .. then who cares? You shouldn't! Now is the time for you to get help and get treatment. At this very point in your life: Anyone and Everyone who isn't there to help you is against you and will only serve to distract you and complicate matters.You need to go it alone. Get treatment. Your therapies will work. After your illness is cured and managed, You can start another relationship. Eitehr new or rekindle the old. You decide. If you live him, let him go. What is really going on is that he is too afraid to help you and he wants out and he wont own his responsibility. Dragging him in (or convincing him to stay) will only make it worse. For adults, Life is all about personal decisions. Anything else, and we feel the sacrifices are not ours and the rewards are nor gained.Also, be active in your therapy and diagnosis. Do see more than one doctor. You cannot have an illness until you are diagnosed by a certified doctor. You should avoid labbeling yourself. You should focus on behaviors and "what tools will make better." everything else really is irrelevant.Be a survivor!
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