A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Think I am going through a mid life crisis and need some help..been married for many years my children have grown up and have their own lives,, My hubby and me have a great relationship, still fancy each other and make time for each other,,However I have had my head turned by someone and hes also married. We are very attracted to one another and we both know we cannot do anything about it as by doing so we will hurt and complicate so many lives.. We have gone so far as a kiss and a grope he says we can go further but he cannot afford to be emotional with me as he needs to separate his emotions,, All alarm bells are saying to me he's using you and this is lust and you are being silly but he makes me feel so good ..I know I need to focus on my hubby and family but I cant get him out of my head sometines and enjoy the contact I have with him...what shall I do?.... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Spend some time reading all the postings similar to yours on here.
Really.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): I'm going thru the same thing. I wish I knew what to tell you. People say don't do it, it's cheating, etc. But it's so hard! I think a big part of it is just knowing that you are still attractive to other men. Same on the guy's part. Also, it's exciting. Someone new. A fresh start. The wonderful way that you feel. But then, you have to think of your husband, your family. His wife, his family. Fantasy is so wonderful. The reality that it's more than you and him sucks. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Let's leave lover boy out of the picture for now shall we.
Think of the stink u will be creating and the destruction of so many innocent lives:
Your kids, his kids, and of course both your spouses.
You have already betrayed your hb by allowing another man to touch you. If u can keep your legs closed and just think of the devastation that will be caused then I think your legs will be shut forever.
I think it was either Q1605 or GrimmReality who used to write about your panties dangling from the ceiling fan and you do not just happen to fall on the other mans penis. What they also meant to say is this:
cheating is a choice. So if you choose the betrayal and destruction of lives then continue as u are but if you somehow choose repectability, and to femain faithful you may just get your self respect back.
Your lust for this other married man will be your demise. And that u can be guaranteed.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): I really feel for you because I know how you feel.
The same situation at home, and almost the same situation with another married man.
I think you know it will be a sexual affair if you go for it don't you? It depends on whether you can do that and have no feelings involved. He has made it clear to you he will not get involved emotionally, and while you could say he is using you, you can also say, at least he has been honest with you, and you know where you stand with him.
If you decide you can have just a sexual relationship with him, then in theory, you will be using each other. It depends whether you can handle that, and only you can decide.
Personally I think if everything about your husband is perfect, then you don't need this just for sex really.
The most it will do for you is make you feel good short term, the initial attraction, feeling that he really wants you, the butterflies, etc all make you feel good for a while.
There are not many ladies I know who can have just a sexual fling without getting in deeper, and that is when the hurting starts!
At least you know where you stand with him, the rest is up to you, but think about it first, really think about it!
I wish I could advise you how to get him out of your head, I can't, as I say I have the same problem, it is very hard when someone makes you feel this good. You know that if you say you do not want a sex thing, the attention will all stop, so you keep hanging on. The trouble is when you do keep hanging on, your feelings get a bit deeper the more you are in contact, and the more you will want him.
You have to decide if you can go for it just for a fling.
If not then you need to convince yourself that you have to stop it here and now. Don't pretend to yourself that you can if you are an emotional person, it will not work. He has been up front with you and you can not make him love you. He is saying he won't anyway.
You are, at least in a position to make a choice on this, you know exactly what he wants, he has told you and been honest, it all depends if you want it bad enough too!
All teh best with your decision.
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