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I have a bf already, but this other guy likes me and I don't want to lead him on...what should I do?

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Question - (13 January 2006) 1 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Okay, I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and I love him very much. Last September, I met this guy in school, we had a class together and we started to become friends. A few days ago, I found out that he has feelings for me and wants to hook up eventually, but he knows he can’t do anything because I’m taken. He’s always saying it, as if to remind himself or something. I don’t think I can see myself with him, but I don’t know what to tell him. I don’t know what it is, but I think something does in fact intrigue me about him, maybe it’s just the fact that he likes me. I don’t know what to do, I don’t wanna end things with my boyfriend because I really feel my future is with him but I don’t wanna lead the other guy on.

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2006):

Dazzerg agony auntFrom what you say here you obviously are taking no actions that can be construed as leading him on so I wouldn't worry about that. You can't hold yourself responsible for how he feels. I would say he says it as a defence mechanism to try and protect himself against his own feelings about you. Since i am assuming he doesn't know that you know there is little you can do without bringing this out into the open which could be awkward for both of you. I would say just carry on as ou have been, be his friend and maybe try to encourage an interest in other girls in him.

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