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female
,
anonymous
writes: About a year ago I was a dating a man who I thought I really trusted until one night he forced me into sleeping with him. It was a horrific experience but I now feel that it's been a year and that it's time for me to move on.I want to start dating again but am really not ready for a sexual relationship yet. I'm only 19 and many of the men I meet, see sex as very important and something that should be there at the start of a relationship. How do I explain to them that I'm not ready yet without freaking them out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionId just like to thank you for replying, it was a relief just to tell someone about my story. Im currently dating a new guy now and he's lovely and is happy to wait til Im ready, I dontknow what will happen yet but I feel far more relaxed now knowing that there's no pressure. Thank you so much xxx
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Be honest. Tell them on the 3rd or 4th date you are not interested in having sex yet until you get to know them better as you have had a bad experience in the past.....a good guy will respect your honesty and wishes, stick around and get to know you better.x
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (5 March 2006):
 Firstly, I'd like to say how brave and mature you are being, putting what that loser did to you behind you and moving on with your life. That must take a lot and you deserve a good guy and to be happy.
Any guy worth having will wait until you're ready to do anything before he even goes there. If they pressure you in any way or try to make you feel guilty for not sleeping with them as soon as they want to, forget about them. You need someone understanding who you can talk to about what happened (if you want to, of course) and who will take things slow and wait until you're ready. Even if you choose not to tell them what happened, lot's of girls like to wait a while before sleeping with guys, it gains a lot of respect from the guy and in the long run, they will treat you better.
As I've said, any guy worth having will not 'freak out' just because you don't want to have sex with them yet. You'll find someone who understands you and your needs and that's the type of guy you need to be spending time on.
Good luck
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