A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please i really need some help, well here goes i was 8 weeks pregnant and had a miscarrige yesterday.i told my fiance about it in which he toke hard but started distancing him self from me im not sure what to do. i am emotionally losing it, my emotions are up and down still as i am pregnant but i felt as i was losing my fiance as i did our unborn child, i really wanted that baby as i know he did. he's about 5hrs away helping hes mother move her as she went thru a nastey divorce with he's step father he beat her up all the time as i can understand i love him more for being there for her, hes a good guy buti also did the most stupid thing,he has abit of a problem showing effection but trys very hard for me and yesterday i felt as he was cold to me over the phone. plus i felt as he picked hes mother over me and our child (not asking if i wanted him to come home and comfort me) all he said was shhhh dont cry baby i know its not the same but close your eyes grab the pillow and pretend i am holding you tight i am right here it alright you got me and were nothings gonna chage that well get thru this together, i loved what he said but i was still upset and texted him today before i turned my phone off saying this_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ hey it's me ive something to say and it may take a few messages, im in a confussion state of mind this has really effected me badly as i am sure it has you. i dont want to be hurt any worse than ive i feel as you distancing your self from me emotionally, im not to sure what to say as in i need some time to think as i am sure u can with out go on living with out me,you went along time with out me already. i dont want to effect our relation ship any more than ive already and so in doing so my cell phone is off i still love u very much dont think differnt honey, we just need time apart to fix our problems in life well i should go take care always your wife to be.well i was hurting when i sent this and i dont want time away from him put i feel as me being clingy (i didnt want to let him off the phone to go to bed last night)is ruinning our relationship and im driving him away.hes such a good hearted man that truly cares for me but i need your help please!!!!!!! how to i go about talking to him about how i feel with out him taking it the wrong way ??im not good with words, but also take back what i said about a break.i dont want one. how do i ask him to see him? i cant come to him right now but how do i ask him to leave he's mom to come see me for a day or two,i know hes mother needs him but so do i,i miss him so much im going out my mind i just need to see him for a least a day is that too much to ask??? please help me please i lost my baby and i feel as i am losing my fiance ...........i just dont know what to do is me being real clingy going to drive us apart? thank you for any advise just one last questionam i wrong for how i feel or what ive done in saying i want a break because i was upset ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): I'm in agreement with the other aunt on this. You are going through a very tough time, having just lost the baby and everything, but his mother needs him too, right now.
Try to calm down over the next few days and THEN call him and let him know you care about him and miss him - but be sure to ask how his mother is doing, and DO NOT pressure him to rush back to see you!
He knows you're hurt and I expect he cares about you, only I have to say again, don't pressure and make life difficult for him at this time.
Additionally, maybe you should plan to get married to him before getting pregnant, next time!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): Relax and breath.. I completely understand that you are upset but I think you took it a little far on this one. Your guy is helping his mother who is going through a very hard time right now as well. I'm sure he understands you need him there but you have now stuck him between a rock and a hard spot. It's not a problem that you are upset and hurt because that is understandable, your hormones are going crazy. But you are doing nothing to help yourself, you making things worse. Telling the man you love that you need time?? Why? He is the one you want, why would you send him away? You also said you just lost your baby yesterday? Aren't you moving things a little qucily for it to have just happened? It's not like he hasn't been home for a month and is making you sit there and not help you in any way. Just relax.. Turn back on the phone and talk to him about this. There is no sense getting him worked up when it's just your emotions going crazy, not you.
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