A
female
age
22-25,
Jaku
writes:Last year during the month of October I met somebody and evrything began to move fast between the two of us and at some points I wasn't really sure that that was a considerably good pace for us. Either way I went with the flow of thingfs and it was harmless until we found ourselfs in bed and my virginity broken, all gone!I feel that even though it takes two to tango, I wasn't really ready for that huge move and the fact that I arleted him before the relationship went any far makes me think that he didn't really care about wherther I was ready or not. After the whole incident he would see me whenever it suited him as he always said he was busy. He then after that told me all about other women in his life and all the other crap about how he doesn't take life seriously and doesn't think he will ever love or commit to anyone at this present moment of life, beign the reason why he has so many people in his life.He also said he was planning to sink in the idea of falling in love and getting married after four or five years counting from this year forward. that tore me apart realising that I had given something so special and precious to him, he didn't deserve that. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jaku +, writes (14 March 2008):
Jaku is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi to everyone who provided answers to my situation, it shows that there are people who care about the conditions prevailing in the society. You have answeared with careful thought and considerations while highlighting important facts. Thank you indeed.
And yes, he does ask if i'm okay whenever we bump into each other and I wish he wouldn't, because I underdstand he only wants to do it just to ease off his conscience.
A
female
reader, Jaku +, writes (14 March 2008):
Jaku is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi to everyone who provided answers to my situation, it shows that there are people who care about the conditions prevailing in the society. You have answeared with careful thought and considerations while highlighting important facts. Thank you indeed.
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A
male
reader, rcn  + ♥, writes (7 March 2008):
 You're not alone. I have 3 precious daughters myself, and I worry all the time that one day one of the love em and leave em types will come along, tell them what they want to hear, then disappear ofter their done. I recently talked with a female friend of mine. She's one of my exgirlfriend's daughters. The same happened to her. She said she lost her virginity at 16, and realized after that was a responsibility she wasn't ready to take on yet.
These jerks prey on women, it's almost a game to them to see how many virgins they can take. I'll tell you what I told her. This happened. It can't be changed. But it could be positive. If you know someone who's about to step in the same situation you went through, you know enough to warn them from experience. You might save this from happening to another because of your personal experience and knowledge. Also from her forward when you're in a relationship and decide it's time to have sex. Just because this happened doesn't make you any less of a person and doesn't mean that your experiences with someone you fall in love with need to be any less valuable.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (7 March 2008):
 Nope, he didn't deserve it, did he! This happened to me in highschool and I lost my virginity to a guy that was a few years older and very popular. We went out for 3mths and he told me he loved, blah blah blah. One night, things went too far but yes, I had agreed...sigh....
I guess I didn't "want to" really after that so he reminded me of how many girls would die to go out with him. So...I dumped him and told him he should go out with those other girls. I was so ANGRY. What was funny is that I actually got a boyfriend right afterwards and he would still come up to me and say "I just want to make sure you're ok" and I said "I'm, okay, are YOU?"
It all worked out for the best and the next time (a year or so later), I took things very slow and at MY comfort level. Always go at your pace and never ever let a guy call the shots in that area.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 Some men think cherry-popping is something of a sport and unfortunately you happened to get tangled up with one of them.
It may be a little late for you now, but hopefully there are lots of other young ladies reading this who will now be thinking twice about giving away something as precious as their virginity to a complete and utter cad, and they will learn from your experience with any luck. If so, your experience may not have been in vain if at least one other girl can avoid becoming nothing more than a notch on a bedpost.
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A
male
reader, guillaume + ♥, writes (7 March 2008):
 Hi,
Yes it's all been said by the previous posters. He was attracted to your virginity. However, pick yourself up and dust yourself down. You did nothing wrong and you can move on now with your life. Try not to ponder too much about what has happened and the way things went. Best wishes, G.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (7 March 2008):
 Although you can't get your virginity back, you can use this experience to learn and grow.
Loose the looser! Move on with your life and make sure that next time you get to know a man better before you let him too close.
You can choose to have sex whenever you like, for your own own pleasure or you can choose to save it for later in the relationship. Either way, make a conscious choice and be proud of yourself. Don't waste time regreting the past!
Next time you feel yourself being rushed into a relationship, make a point of opening deep conversations with your partner. Ask him about his beliefs, views on politics, life and his future.
If when he talks about the future he still sees himself single, you'll know where you're standing!
God bless you and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): Hi Hunny
NO! He didnt love but you cant take it back now, So you start getting strong and dont have anymore contact with this player sweetheart..You put it down to a huge learning experience and learn that you are worth so much that he is the fool not you...Im sending you a link for you self esteem love so you can get strong and get over this and grow from it. http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
Its done now and you cant take it back hunny so its no good looking back you have to look forward and forget this toad and when you get stronger hunny you will be happier and then when the right man comes along you will be able to have a relationship and hopefully put all this behind you as it never happened, A womans hymen can get broken by riding a horse so your horse just bolted as far as you are concerned and you are now looking for a new and brighter future if you need a chat message me anytime hunny.. YOU TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Jovial + ♥, writes (7 March 2008):
 Hi Jaku
I am sorry darling. Sometimes relationships sucks big time.
Like u said it takes two to tango, If its any consolation instead of beating yourself down appreciate the fact that he became honest with u instead of hurting u further. There are some serial cheaters who will just string u along until u are tired of hurting and decide to leave them and they are not sorry u left them.
Take this as a lesson next time dont just flow with things be cautious and do what your heart is set out to do. He was just a player who was after your innocence and after reaching his goal he didnt see any reason to stay which means he didnt stay with u this long because he loved u it was for sex.
Stop mopping and move on, I completely understand what you are going thru but life goes on. You can not return your virginity but you can let him go with your dignity intact.
Jovial
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