A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been seeing this guy for a few months now, we are exclusive. i had never even really been kissed before him, so the whole thing has been quite new to me and i didn't really know what to expect. we get on really well and everything seems perfect but i feel like i could be pushing him away a bit because i find it so hard to talk about my feelings even though i want to. he finds it really easy, he's more confident and experienced than i am. he often tries to get me to talk about things but i panic and get a bit scared- i'm just not used to seriously discussing my feelings and i get embarrassed! so i guess i'm worried that my seeming reluctance to communicate with him could become a problem factor- and i really don't want it to. how can i overcome my fears and embarrassment and get used to really communicating with him on the level that couples do? i really want to be able to talk about anything with him... i just don;t know how to go about being comfortable with being so open when it seems so unfamiliar to me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): You seem articulate in writing so I'm sure it's something you have the capacity to do. I think it's just an issue of practice and conifdence.
You might want to try journaling or writing about your feelings...not so much for sake of keeping a diary, but as a way to figure out what your feelings are at all. If you can articulate your own thoughts to yourself, it tends be easier to articulate your thoughts to others. Putting things on the page tends to put them on your tongue.
I'm not a natural public speaker, but I've found it helps. I'm not suggesting you state your deepest feelings in a three-point format...all I know is writing about anything makes it easier to talk about.
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