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I felt betrayed when my best friend told my ex everything I'd said about him

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Question - (8 December 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 December 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have known my best friend for 9 years. I have told her things.. Very personal things, about my ex, our relationship, how I cheated on him, and that didn't want to be with him anymore . I trusted her with this information, and weeks later she told me that she told him everything and the day after he broke up with me, I saw him leave her house. It was like a stab in the heart, not really by him, but her. When i approached him about it he told me he was just sad, and needed someone to talk to late at night, but when I asked her she told me that they did sleep together and are STILL sleeping together.. She apologized but I can't help but to feel betrayed.. I hate my best friend now and I just don't know what to do.. Should I cut her off even though she sincerely apologized and is my best friend?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 December 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI would cut her off 100%. Her actions weren't those of a Best Friend but one of a girl who was waiting for you to break up so she could cut in, and have a go with him.

My guess is she also advised you to "just" break up with him, am I right? She was just waiting to spill ALL your secrets to him in hopes that he would think SHE is better.

Let those two have each other. You are better off not dating a guy you are willing to cheat on, and better off not keeping her around, because she isn't trustworthy and not a good friend.

She apologized for sleeping with him, but she didn't stop.. Which means those are just words. And words she didn't mean.

Girl code - never date or sleep with a friend's ex.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (9 December 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntShe is not your best friend, her actions point that out quite clearly. Your feelings of betrayal are justified.

A best friend is somebody you can trust implicitly, this girl has proved herself to be untrustworthy.

Only you can decide if she needs to be cut off, or should remain as a friend, personally I would not be having any more to do with her. As the old saying goes "with friends like that, who needs enemies"

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2015):

If you keep her around I would be VERY guarded from now on ... someone who would be betray you once might betray you again. But on the other shoe, maybe she told him you cheated because he was cheating with her? Make him feel better about the whole thing, kind of justified and all the more reason to break up with you to be with her. Can you believe everything she said? You won't really know if they are sleeping together or whether this is an attempt to get your man. But I would say the likelihood of him cheating is high.The timing is too close to together to think otherwise. So if you want to keep her then keep her BUT don't trust her ever again the same way.

My dad slept with my aunt ... being sisters my mum and aunt had to find a way over it, they did eventually patch things up but they have never got back to the sort of sister relationship they had before the betrayal. They will be there for each other always and love no matter what, but something broke that couldn't be fixed which was trust.

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