A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone, i am 20 years old girl in a relationship with a boy of 26. We love each other very much but the problem is here is that I am not a good thinker or a good communicator. My boyfriend expects me to talk to him but how to do that when he has abused me mentally since 1-1/2 years. He all the time tells about what i should do to become a better person and reminds me of my bad points. i m sick and tired of hearing all that but it never stops. Its like killing me all the time. I dont want to lose him neither he wants to and kind of we are stuck. He has become frustrated but from the beginning he never showed me the care and affection i wanted and he is my first love but that is not the case with him, he had 2 to 3 girlfriends before too. I am seriously confused as to what to do so that we dont have these fights which makes me feel so unwanted and low. He just keeps me telling and I go on listening because i feel guilty. Help!! this is leading to a very pathetic situation since we live in the same apartment and he has become like one of my family member. He is very moody and does whatever he wants to. I care for him a lot, but others tell me that I m insane of loving and caring for a person who does not love me at all and scolds me all the time but for some moments he really loves me. This is causing a great deal of emotional stress to me as I am not able to speak to him after all how much should i bear all this just that i love him so much. Can u help me out in this situation, also i dont want to hurt him but he does that to me every single time whenever he starts telling me abt stuffs abt me. I want to have a normal relationship like how others have, not being feeling scared like what he will tell next abt me bad. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): love is the most important thing above all.
find out if the guy loves u or not. if he does then rest of the things can be worked on.and if he keeps telling u to become a better person then its for ur own good dear.
from this u can make out how much he loves u.once u start thinking in a positive manner u will feel better.
think over it and dont finish off ur relation so easily.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Well that's simple, people are born to better them selfs. And becoming better has to do with wanting to be better, so he will never do anything that will make you clean from you does bad habits. Unless you, and only you, want to.
But he has an education that he will, with no question, follow. And if you don't change he will be affected in the longrun. Or you will not be able to continue with his constant attemps to help you become better.
At the end you will get something good from that. And everything is up to you. But remember everything takes time and he has to be patiant. Hope good will for you. Dorian
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Oh honey I'm sorry to hear you are in such a situation but you are young, have no kids so you should be able to pack your bags and walk out on him!!! Go back to your family or friends but do not stay any longer with this guy as he doesn't love you. If he did he would not be acting/saying and doing the things he is to you.
He is chipping away at your self confidence slowly but surely!!! Eventually without even you realising it you will have no friends, no family left. He will talk you into quitting college/work and will be totally depending on him for everything which is what he wants.
Its hard to make that first move but the longer you leave it the harder it will be....
Good luck with everything and have the strength and will power to do what you know is right and leave him!
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