A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife has an ex...I have have always been able to put my past relationships away, to an imaginary place of non-existence. I can't seem to do it with hers...It hurts...they have contact by email and phone(at her work). I feel betrayed...I wish I did't have these feelings, and I don't know how to put them away. As soon as I think I have found a way, he pops back up....my biggest issue is that he betrayed her. He is weak and unreliable, self-pitying (all things I detest)..,I wish he were gone. But then, I wonder, do I have the right to ask...This is our life we are building here. I didn't see why he should have a right to be a part of it. What do I do??? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): I am going through with a similar nightmare right now. YOu got to deal with it at the earliest stages or your wifes old emotional feelings towards her ex will re-surface and just make things worse.
In a nice and supportive way, it has to made clear that its either him or you.
A
female
reader, Cupcake  +, writes (23 February 2008):
 I have been in a similar situation, and trust me if you dont do anything about it now it will get worse. I was like you and just sat back and let it happen until eventually my fiancee's ex decided after much contact she wanted him back, and if he wasnt going to leave me she would create lies to break us up because if she couldnt have him she didnt want anyone to. This caused alot of strain on our relationship, and im surprised we made it through, and to be honest im still not completley over it and it has been 7months since we have heard from her. SO what you need to do is let her know how much it bothers you and that you dont think it is right for them to have contact. If she cares about you she will end all contact with her ex, your feelings are more important that his, and if shes a good woman she will realize this. Do not let her continue talking to him, trust me it doesnt get better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): I keep reading about people that are still in contact with their ex in the most inappropriate ways - i.e. email, at work etc which does not involve you! This is simply not right and should NOT be happening without your consent or approval - she is disrespecting the sanctity of your relationship. You need to tell her straight and explain your feelings - her response will tell you a lot about he way she really feels. If she cares you will be more important than this 'hang on' relationship she has. Be cautious but give her a chance to change.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): Hi Hunny
Be the strong man you are and realise he needs her because he is weak and he has to have contact because he is self pittying and being unreliable is why my love she is with you the strong reliable husband that she loves.
You ignore the fact that he keeps in contact and you get on with your wonderfull life with your wife and enjoy every minute you have time with her and enjoy every second of this woman you love as she has a beautiful heart, And it shows because even though she divorced this man she still knows how he is in need of something at this moment and with time hunny it will fade and you can then say you did your best to understand even though it was a bloody nightmare and you came through because you are strong. I hope this helps hunny YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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