A
male
age
30-35,
*p0307
writes:hellooI posted a few months ago on here about a bad experience i had and what i learnt from it.To cut a long story short, I have a lonely life no close friends and never been in a relationship. I was also very into porn and visited a brothel (my first ever sexual experience) and it was extremely bad and made me realise that i need to have feelings for the girl in order to make sex a good experience and i understand now this takes a lot of time not only for the girl, but for me as im a very closed person. Ok so that was before and i learnt alot and really feel alone right now ... no one to talk to or like to just talk about anything to take my mind off it. Also it made me realise what i want in life... this is a slow moving loving relationship. Im happy ive learnt this and will wait forever till i find one, but what gets me down is that ive never had one and have no idea where to find one as i haven't got a great social life i dont meet many people. Also the fact that ive never had a girlfriend also makes me fell this way...Well the other day i chatted to my mum and she said you're too shy and should just talk to a girl (this is true) but aswell as that as i said before i dont meet any one... i just feel... lonely :(
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never had a girlfriend, porn, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): Dude... If you are lonely and bored do something about it. But stay away from night clubs and bars. You need to sign up for activities that get men and women together in non-sexual situations. It takes the pressure off and you can relax and have conversations like normal people.Go find a co-ed cricket league, co-ed volley ball league or a co-ed bowling, tennis, whatever.. If you are not athletic, sign up for a local theatre production (even back stage). Go find a charitable organization and donate your time. Build and repair houses for the needy. "Habitat for Humanity" gets men and women together. Check out your local church for groups that get young folks together. If you are interacting with women as part of a planned activity there's really no pressure for you to have your "A" game on. You can relax and meet genuine people.
A
male
reader, celestial  +, writes (26 August 2009):
Try some dating site and chat with plenty of girls. Found the one you're the more comfortable with. Realize that she wants the same thing that you do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): You are young and have learnt a very important lesson - one that many men twice your age haven't come to grips with! That is that sex without love is hurtful to both parties, even if they dont realise it at the time. I spent my teens and twenties having lots of promiscuous sex. It is only now I've found a nice man who treats me like a whole person, not just an object to penetrate(!) that I have come to learn the same lesson you have learnt from your experience at the brothel. So you are lucky to have learnt it so young! And you sound like a nice guy, someone sincere and thoughtful. It is hard being single sometimes but may be it will be a little comfort for you to bare in mind that millions of people around the world are single and feel the same as you. Probably including the girl who one day will be your partner!! I'm sure you will find her. Have patience - and also remember, being in a relationship isn't always a bed of roses either. Some married or people in committed relationships would love to have the freedom that lies in front of you! You are young, you can go anywhere , and do anything you please. Confidence comes with practice- it's just another one of lifes skills to be learnt, no different from driving a car or managing your bills every month. If you want to become confident, read up online for tips and advice, there is plenty out there and then most importantly get out and start interacting with the world. Good luck!
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