A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't help but get rid of this feeling and stop feeling pathetic because I haven't had sex yet and i'm nearly 21! At university all my friends have already slept with more than 5 people, I haven't even slept with one and while they're getting with guys and having fun i'm this boring one who 'wants to wait for the right person'. I've brought guys back to mine and just haven't slept with them, so i'm not completely inexperienced. And of course I've been tempted, but then the thought of it being a one night stand is not what i want. I'm not saying I want to be like my friends and sleep around, that's not something I could do, it seems really slutty and easy to me. But I feel pathetic being a 20 year old virgin and with my birthday in a few months I feel even more pathetic knowing I might be a 21 year old virgin! Thing is, I've dated a lot of guys so it's not that I haven't had the chance, it's just i've never felt like I wanted to with any of them. And now I feel like I should of just slept with one of them and I wouldn't be feeling like this, it's bad because it's got to the point where I don't even care if it's a one night stand now and that's what upsets me is that it bothers me so much i'm thinking about going against the one thing I didn't want! Any advice on this would be helpful, or anybody in the same situation....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): Being approximately 20 years older, I can tell you this is not something you should feel "pathetic" about.
To get to the bottom of this, you will either have to "relax" your criteria and have sex in order to "fit in" or else do not place yourself in this situation at all. In other words, you should not casually "hook up" with people who may be under the impression that this will lead to casual sex. Find someone that you are genuinely interested in and move forward at a pace that is more comfortable for you.
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (10 April 2013):
Sex is far from the only fun in life and especially for young people it also brings many problems. Dont judge yourself against what your friends do or think. Instead be satisfied that you have your own mind and have not allowed others to persuade you differently. Just enjoy meeting guys and have fun and when you meet the right person it will go further without you realising and you wont even think about if you should or shouldnt do something. Also, think proudly of yourself that you are not just a notch on the college studs bedpost, as many of your friends will be!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): I don't think it is pathetic at all, but rather inspiring. There should honestly be more people like you in the world. People who believe that sex is something to be shared with someone that you love, rather than an activity to do. There are many problems that are caused by having sex: sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Trust me, they are not worth the aggravation of having a one night stand. There is not a right age in which you should lose your virginity but rather the right person! Make sure it is with someone that deserves it and loves you. You can never get it back, its a once in a lifetime experience that should be shared with someone. So don't throw it all away just because you feel you have to do it to fit in. I know plenty of people who are saving it for marriage. Besides look at all the famous athletes who are waiting for marriage. (Kirk Cousins... etc)If I am to be completely honest, I am not so sure why sex is such a big deal. It is not as fantastic as everyone says it is. So don't feel guilty about not doing it yet.Boys may make jokes about it right now, but later on in life, boys are way happier and excited to met someone special who hasn't been around the block. Stay true to who you are and don't feel guilty about it.
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A
female
reader, kadie'xo +, writes (10 April 2013):
Dont put yourself down babe, thats natural, weve all thought tthat ourself's., maybe you need to realise that theres the right one and he will come to you at the right time,dont worry about a thing, your not pathetic its normal:)
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