A
male
age
41-50,
*onfusedsoul
writes:My parents seem to have made considerable efforts in creating a so-called ideal family. But it is like a false illusion to display to the outside world. In reality there are lot of internal problems in my family, no one respects the other, no one cares much for the other, and most of the times, no one speaks about them for the fear of being criticized by people in society, who consider my parents to be ideal and having high values. I think otherwise. How do i deal with this situation, i am the youngest of son with an elder brother and his wife and my parents. Please advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (5 May 2007):
Kiora, First of all everyone creates an illusion, sometimes it is an aspiration of a parent or child trying to do better no matter how they do it. Even if it isn't right.
Are you still living at home? If you find your family and your existence and ideals so obtuse then go out on your own. If you disapprove of your family's ideals, values, ethics then it is up to you to be who you are. You are old enough. Even if you leave your whanau, you then deal with your choice but don't judge them, you don't know what made them come to that point, however unhappy you feel about it.
You make your own Whanau...
A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (5 May 2007):
Outside of physical or sexual abuse, most families have exactly the same kind of tensions and problems.
What you have to realize is that everybody else is hiding behind exactly the same kind of facade.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (5 May 2007):
 No family is perfect, on the outside or the inside. I don't know what situation you want to deal with. Do you want everyone to know your family aren't perfect? I advise you to accept the flaws within your family, no family is perfect and we only get one and we can't blame all our problems on the family we're born into. If we're unhappy we need to take some of our own responsibility for that.
CD
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