A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if this is a valid question to the rest of this group. My bf brings me flowers and likes to take me out to dinner. Yet, when we're eating dinner he always makes a fuss about how pricy the food is-- a huge turn off. He just makes me feel like I'm not good enough for a plate of food at a descent price. He always keeps on telling me,"I do this for you... I do this for you..." It feels horrible to hear that. I do so much for him but he too doesn't appreciate me. I don't remind him what I do for him all the time-- only when he tells me he does so much for me. He says he loves me and when I try to end the relationship he starts to cry :/ It's complicated because he is a nice person to others. I think he is immature, honestly. We've been going out for 9 months. My mother is always saying,"Poor boy... you are so vicious Andrea." He likes playing the helpless game-- like the watery eyes and the," I wuv yah!" It's so confusing. I don't know why I'm sticking around. He whines too much and says the world is a pit of human flesh with corporations and uncouth beings. It's depressing and his mother is odd-- she is so lazy. They are really poor. So it's hard. My bf is a hard worker too. He buys me gifts and flowers when he can. He got me a promise ring for Christmas. He has a thing for taking pictures of himself and posting them on his walls and desktop. He tells me that a have some blubber at my midsection. He says," Why don't you do this...?" As to improve my looks for him. He says that he treats me this way because he just tends to fancy good looking women from TV or magazines. What do to!
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male
reader, q1605  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 This is why I don't like traditional dating. He has no game so he buys you dinners flowers. It's more or less a bribe for you to devote a block of time to him. You two had probably said little more than Hello before your first date. But as long as he paid for things you continued to see him. As you became more intimate it was still wall paper for the initial dynamic which was you trading blocks of your time for dinners movies drinks. Since you can't spend that much time around some one with out learning something about them, the incompatibility that existed all along has become too obvious to ignore. Ask yourself. Does he want to keep dating me for me or is he protecting his investment
A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (14 April 2008):
 You need to talk to him about his behaviour and the way he makes you feel. It is better to start a conversation on the subject away from arguments, so you are both calm and can listen to each other's point of view.
Tell him things like "When you take me out for dinner and complain about the cost of food, you make me feel like you think you're wasting your money on me, like I don't deserve it. Why do you do it? I would rather you took me places you can afford."
People often find it easyer to pigeon-hole others, taking them at face value and arguing with them when they are being out of order. This stops you from getting to know his good side and also it deteriorates your relationship at every argument.
Every one is different! We all develop our personality and behaviour on the base of our upbringing and experiences.
When we meet potential partners and even friends and collegues, it is important to communicate our point of view to each other, to open our mind and heart to other people's point of view, so we may find common ground to stand on.
If you really don't clic, though, and you cannot be happy with him, just say so and move on.
The early stages of a relationship are about getting to know each other and whether you would be suited for a long -term relationship. If you're not, just accept it, encourage him that there is someone out there for him, who he will find wanderful and love deeply and for ever! ...Then make a quick exit and find someone who makes you lough rather than moan!
God bless you and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 If you are in love, you should be happy .
If you feel pain , then it is not love.
Love comes in a complete package and if you don't like some ,
you either reject or accept the whole package .
You cannot change another person.
Don't try, for you will fail.
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