A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I am friend with a guy who I met at work. We have been hanging out for over a month now, and generally he's fine, apart from his music. He is a big fan of his bass guitar, which isn't a problem to me, but I dislike the songs he plays the bass tunes to... I try to show interest but at times, it is clear I am bored. My parents aren't keen on him either as he came across as pretty cold when they first met, due to his apparent history of depression. However, when we are apart, I miss him, but as he doesnt show much affection/like in his messages/in person, I'm unsure if it is a one sided relationship, and don't know what to do. Does missing him mean that I am in love? Also do text messages really reflect emotions? And what can I do about his musical hobby? Please help.
View related questions:
at work, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sokaishadow  +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Men always say women can't change them... they're wrong. For the most part.
You can change a few habits when it has to do with him getting better. Like being cleaner, dressing nicer, being more organized, etc.
But the essence of a person you cannot change. What is it? Well, his love for music. It's just a hobby and he likes it. You can at least endure it, or find it cute. When my boyfriend does computer work I don't understand, I don't get bored. I just find something else to do. I kind of feel proud he knows so many things. He also likes music that I don't like, but I understand why he likes it and it doesn't really bother me when he listens to it.
As for your parents. You shouldn't really give a crap for what they think.
On the one-sidedness: how long have you been "hanging out"? Text messages don't reflect emotions per-se. The AMOUNT of them you get per day, do. If he texts/calls you at least once a day, he's into you. If you feel like you have to call him or text him to get him to talk to you, then it's definitively one sided. He could be unable to show emotion, but doesn't mean that the emotion is not there. If he shows desire to be next to you, call you out of his own volition or text you frequently, then you have something. Otherwise, it's definitively one-sided.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (26 November 2009):
 Sounds like you trying to change him. Go and find a single woman for whom this has ever worked.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (26 November 2009):
 No to two of the first questions and as for the music well maybe you could ask him if you could play some of your tunes, like half and half type of thing?
He will get the message eventually, you cant be expected to just listen to his stuff, so compromise you can still be nice about it.
Gina
...............................
|
