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I feel like I'm 2nd best... I barely ever get hugs or kisses unless he wants sex

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2007)
A female United Kingdom, *mberBambi writes:

Hey all,

I have a slight proble concerning the guy I am with at the moment. I am 18, he is 28. But its not the age gap thats the problem. I have been seeing him for 2 months, he is a very nice person, genuine, caring, he has a good job, nice house, and gorgeous. But the problem seems to be that he doesnt want much from me.. in the beginnning it was all new and exciting, I used to get butterflies everytime I saw him. From the beginning he has made it clear that he doesnt want a big relationship because of all the arguments and hastle that comes with them. So we agreed to see how it goes, enjoy each others company, see ech other 3/4 times a week or whenever we wanted to etc. Weekends he see's his friends an i see mine, we have complete freedom and dont stop each other from doing anything. It was all ok in the beginning, but i seem to be wanting more and more from him, and from the relationship. He shows me no emoion what so ever, i barely ever get hugs or kisses unless he wants sex, i end up sitting round his house for hours while he goes running orto the gym, i feel like im always second best and he is only with me because no one better has come along. I dont want to make it sound like he is a nasty person because he isnt at all, i just wish he would feel the same as me. I want to stay with him, but i know i going to end up falling for him and getting hurt as he doesnt feel the same. What do i do? Is he using me? Or am i wanting to much?

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A female reader, AmberBambi United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2007):

AmberBambi is verified as being by the original poster of the question

AmberBambi agony auntThank you for the answers guys, it was what i knew in the back of my head anyway. I just dont want to seem ungrateful as he also took me on holiday for new year and bought me an expensive neckace for christmas. i know this should not be a reason to stay with him as my heart will end up broken in the long run. many thanks for your answers, amber x

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2007):

AskEve agony auntYou got it in one love, he IS using you! He likes your company but he doesn't want you cramping his style. He does what he wants to do, when he wants to do it and you fit in when he feels like a bit (sex). You're nothing more than a "convenience" for him. But hey, he told you as much didn't he?

Kick him to the kerb love and find someone who will show you the love and attention you deserve.

Eve

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A male reader, Dr. Reality Check United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2007):

Dr. Reality Check agony auntWell, to be perfectly honest, the problem is quite simple. You want a proper relationship, and he deosnt, as he has told you. As far as I can see, he is in it for the sex and nothing much else. If you are willing to be what you arranged with him (in a non committed relationship), then carry on seeing him. If not, then I would tell him it's over, as the longer it goes on, the worse the heartbreak will be.

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