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I feel insecure, because I'm always the one who makes contact with my sweetheart...

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2005)
A male , *odel330 writes:

I am 36, insecure and totally in love. I re-met my childhood sweetheart almost a year ago, and we planned a life togther as soon as we could. We had an aborted attempt at living together (I split from my wife) but due to the stress of running my own company, working 18 hours a day etc etc, I ended up in hospital after a heart attack.

When I came out I couldn't handle not being in familiar surroundings and moved back into my house. I was extremely ill and frightened. I also found out that the love of my life was a more serious soft drug addict than I thought.

Since then, I have doted on her, but I just don't get the same in return. It's always me who calls, me who sends txt message and emails. I am back with my wife as I have nowhere else to go, my business is booming which takes up 16 hours a day again and I am just running myself into circles.

I want to be with J, but whilst I don't love my wife and never have (another story) I can't bring myself to hurt her again.

J is trying to sell her business and its been hard as she is now on her own in a property that is falling apart quicker then she can patch it up, she is too proud to accept the only help that I can give, which is financial. There is so much to say but as the caption says... dont make the question too long... and I haven't got to it yet!

What can I do to make her see that her non attentiveness is driving me inside out? I know it's my insecurity and she is busy (she runs a shop) but it takes a minute to text "I love you" which I manage to do, as well as send flowers and silly gifts every week. 2nd question is my insecurity, which I cant overcome. Many many questions, I could write an essay!

View related questions: flowers, insecure, text

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A female reader, beenthere +, writes (9 November 2005):

there is probably an underlying reason for your insecurity. think about what it is and only then will you be able to overcome it. i fully understand how you feel as regards attentiveness from j. i live with my partner and very rarely get his attention. he only says he loves me if i say it first. and i'm always the one to initiate any contact at all. but i know he loves me. i know a lot of people where this is the other way round ie. the man has to do all the chasing. don't worry about it too much. help her overcome her drug problem. this may be her reason for the lack of attention. good luck

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