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I feel he doesn't want me and it hurts so bad! How do you stop loving someone?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hello,

I posted a while ago about my ex boyfriend who had ignored me at the end of the relationship which hurt me a lot. He got back in contact, and we have been seeing each other again for 4 months, but not regularly due to work/study commitments. I wrote him a letter a few weeks ago, explaining my feelings and that i couldnt continue unless i got more contact and consistency as i was so confused by what he wanted. sometimes he would be all loving and kind, other times i felt i was bothering him. The first week after this he was trying hard and being kind to me again, and then last week he was cold again.

I have decided not to contact him again as it hurts too much to try to be with him. I love him, and when we are together it is wonderful, but when we are not together it just hurts and i dont feel he really wants me.

I am however feeling very sad and raw at the moment. I woke up crying this morning and feel low. How can i get myself over this? I dont want to want him anymore. I have been through the heartache once already, and cant do that again.

How do you stop loving someone?

View related questions: my ex

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A female reader, marie78 +, writes (14 November 2006):

It is difficult to stop loving someone... but here's the kicker... you don't have to stop loving a man- you just have to move on. There are techniques and tips that I can give you to help you through this difficult time. I know exactly what you're going through- trust me. It sucks to be treated poorly... one minute he's kind and sweet, and the next moment he's cruel and cold. Men like this are selfish and emotionally immature... what you need is a 'real' man, who can handle an 'adult' relationship. However, it's important for you to recognize your role in all of this. At what moments in your relationship does he usually turn cold? When does he seem to get annoyed and distant? Try answering these questions, so you can begin to understand his behavior... you need to look for patterns... ttys

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A female reader, bab4life18 United States +, writes (10 November 2006):

bab4life18 agony auntI understand what you mean. You really can't stop loving someone because your heart has a mind of its own and it does what it wants when it wants to. the best thing for you to do is to hang out with your friends and just rry to keep busy as much as possible. You may want to cry and when you do dont try and stop it just let it keep going because when you cry enough your heart will get tired of it and you will just stop loving him. Also when you decide to move on relationship wise you are likely to rid yourself of the pain. i hope you feel better soon. GOOD LUCK

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006):

You don't. You can force yourself to think that he is a bad person because of this and that, but ultimately, the feelings you have for him will linger on. Love, as with other combinative emotions/expressions will continue to linger on until it dilutes or other things happen in your life.

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A female reader, luvaofsoul +, writes (10 November 2006):

cry if you must

there is nothing wrong with that.........you feel hurt and he doesn't understand or empathise.

but each time you cry, you have to say to yourself, love shouldn't hurt this much and if it is, then i've made the right decision. Each day, i promise it will get easier.

Keep close to the people that you love and love you and emerse yourself into activities that you enjoy.

I'm going through this now....so i feel for you

take care of your self

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