A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Will I ever be happy??? I have never had much luck in relationships, my first long term partner from age 17 cheated on me after 2 1/2 yrs then split up 3 years later to find out he had cheated several times, the second relationship was a great guy just mr safe, never cheat but very laid back and more a friend than a parter. I have just come out of a relationship with a guy who told me he had been cheated on, I fell desperatley in love with him and took on his 2 kids from a failed marriage only to discover after 5 months he was messing about, I tried to understand and took him back as I couldn't bear the fact of loosing him - thinking everyone makes mistakes then he ended it 2 months ago for me to find out he was seeing someone else! I am the kind of person who rushes into relationships and don't think of any consequences - but surley you can't judge every relationship by a past one? I feel like everyone I meet and really fallen for has let me down, I have just met a new guy and he is great really funny, attractive, very keen but I feel like im holding myself back and whenever im away from him I have all these things I want to say like I really like him but when im with him I have this coolness about me which I have never had before!?
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female
reader, Serenity1  +, writes (14 November 2008):
 Well I would have to say that I've experienced the same thing and am currently in the same boat as you. I do kind of agree with the first poster that we have to change our mentality because our past does have an impact on our current and future relationships.I just cancelled a relationship of about 4 months because this guy had a girlfriend, every relationship I had before including my failed marriage has ended because he cheated. One of my relationships was 6 years and my marriage was 4 years, keep in mind I'm only 28. Point being your question hit the spot with me, I can't really give you any advice because I'm in the same boat, maybe you should just keep it casual with this new guy... ask him what his future goals entail, this way you will find out if he's looking for a relationship, kids, travel, etc.Best Hopes
A
female
reader, phoenix85 +, writes (14 November 2008):
that is not coolness,that is what normal people consider as being carefull:)i m saying normal people becouse i m not one of them:)dont worry u r not alone:)so as u can understand i m not the right person to advise but i can share my analizes.i think these things are happening to us becouse we are not analizing with whom we r with.we are just jumping in to the relation.when we have a good time with the guy we think we can also trust him and count on him.but i m sure deep down of your brain,something is warning you but u just ignore it and want to believe what he is telling to u.i m not telling u to be paranoid and dont beleive what he is telling u,but i think we should start to pay more attention on what their behaviours tell us.
honey dont think that u have a bad luck.it is not true at all.we are getting what we are thinking.believe me we are so obssesed that we have bad luck,and we are always worried about letting be down,so as a result we are getting what we are thinking.if u change ur mentality,u will see the changes in the things that life will give u.
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