A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I'll try and be brief...Long distance relationship, been together 6 years, long distance for 3, long distance ended last month.Ok, a year ago, was out, got so drunk, I only remember bits (though I know sex happened.) Next day woke up, freaked out. Spoke with her, she said not to worry. Wanted to confess, but there were situations where I could not. Fast forward 8 months.. Similar situation with same girl (she was very aggressive, I fought it but at end of the night was drunk and in the wrong place. No sex this time but stuff still happened). I contacted her, she said not to worry. Once again certain situations didn't allow me to confess (that sounds unbelievable but its true)..Anyways, after this event I changed myself. Don't drink anymore, and moved away from that town. Since then I have had another girl very aggressively try and get me but I remembered my guilt and got away.. Well those situations that wouldn't allow me to confess are gone now. Should I confess? I want to but I know that all I will be doing is unloading my pain on her. I love her and want to stay and have changed my life to make sure it never happens again. I have been severely depressed since it happened and I hate myself more every day for it. This I deserve.. I know long distacne and alcohol played a factor but this is no excuse.. Some people I know have found out (they are pals of mine), I live 10 hours away so it shouldnt be an issue.I am terrified....... I deserve what I get..I never went out intending to get women... Its already been 7 months and I can't stand the thought of what I did...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): To be honest I'm more leaning towards ending it and not telling, or just keeping my mouth shut... To be honest I'm not sure that I believe it is right to dump that on her. I'll feel better and she'll be devastated. I'm the one who should feel badly, not her. Plus that kind of thing scars a person.. If I end it she'll get over it eventually, but if I confess, she'll likely end it, and that will stay with her forever. Maybe I'm a bad person, I would do anything to take it back, and whats done is done. I never thought I'd be in this position and I'm disgusted with myself...
A
female
reader, taina1980  +, writes (16 June 2008):
@least you feel remorse that is a good thing... I believe that you should get it off your chest... itsounds like its been eating away ai you...you need to free your mind so that you can stop worrying about this issue... I went thru this similar issue when my ex was feeling the same waya confessed that he had cheated...granted was very angry & upset...but we got passed it... she will never forget what u did & it make take forever to win her trust back but if she is worth it never hurt her or anyone like this again...just be a man be brave & remember that alcohol is never an excuse for bad behavior...
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (16 June 2008):
@least you feel remorse that is a good thing... I believe that you should get it off your chest... itsounds like its been eating away ai you...you need to free your mind so that you can stop worrying about this issue... I went thru this similar issue when my ex was feeling the same waya confessed that he had cheated...granted was very angry & upset...but we got passed it... she will never forget what u did & it make take forever to win her trust back but if she is worth it never hurt her or anyone like this again...just be a man be brave & remember that alcohol is never an excuse for bad behavior...
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