A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just got out of a five year emotionally abusive relationship been a couple of month and I seem to fall for ppl that are older much older and taken :( I am 24 and like men in their thirties is this normal? How can I regain self confidence? I feel so discouraged, like everyone I seem attracted to is dating someone else this is just so discouraging
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJonas you are 100 percent right you are right i am coming from an emotionally abuse relationship and it was such a turn on to see nice guys and respectful guys. i WOULD never make a move because I know that the person that is attached has no respect when they make a move and i wouldnt want someone like that, but its nice to dream and hope that one day i will fall in love and that whoever is attached may not be and maybe god will bring someone like them along my way..I got out of my bad relationship but I find this time so lonely and sad..
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I'm not asking about cheating never would do that cause anyone that cheats is not worth it I was just saying I fall for guys that r taken n it seems discouraging bc it seems I will never find Someone as nice as the ppl I have met
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female
reader, meccamega  +, writes (24 December 2010):
I'm 23 and I like older guys aswell. Girls mature faster than guys. I like dating someone with more life experience. I find younger guys a bit immature. And they always seem to want to play the field too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): You arre basically asking about cheating aren't you?
You got out of a relationship and ready to jump into another and you do not seem to be fazed whether the new man is taken. Please have some respect for other peoples relationships. Create boundaries. Respect boundaries.
Why don't you get some therapy for yourself. Start liking YOU and start building your self esteem. Start valuing yiurself. Basically it begins with YOU.
LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat is you get to know someone and they are unhappy in their relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i always seem to crush on other people that are older and some that are taken, i mean you cannot help but like someone if they have a great personality. But I just feel discouraged, and I dont know if I will ever fall in love, it seems so distant and weird to me, but I desperately want it? I want to hear that i am beautiful and that i am pretty, I like need it, i need to hear it because my ex used to say it, but he said i was fat when i was only 5'3 and 124
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): If you're 24, liking guys in their 30's isn't that much older. Yes, it's normal liking guys that are a little older than you but what isn't normal is liking guys that are already taken.
I think you need to be on your own for a while. Being in that kind of relationship for 5 years is going to be tough to get over and must have damaged you in some ways.
You might want to think about speaking to a counselor or therapist to sort out the issues from your past relationship. Being on your own for a while should help you to be "you" again after being in such a toxic relationship.
Getting into another relationship right now isn't a good idea while you have so much baggage and until you deal with your past you're not going to get that confidence you so badly want.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (23 December 2010):
 hello
i have the same problem (although i am 39 now) the fact is is that most men in their 30's onwards tend to be married or involved in relationships already and the ones that are single are a lot of the time bitter about women because of their past relationships or they have settled down previously and then decided they dont want to commit again! a lot of older men are no more grown up than the 20 somethings really ( i dont mean to offend anyone with this comment!) so why dont you give men your own age a chance?
good luck xx
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