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male
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anonymous
writes: i had a girlfriend for about 8 months and she was great. i really loved and we were really head over heels for ages. then after the whole absolutely crazy in love thing past it was still great but i realized she rarely had anything interesting or intelligent to say. i stayed with her because if you fall in love you can t just walk away, but my mind kept telling me she wasnt the right girl for me, but my heart couldn'y finish with her. after thinking long and hard i decided to dump her because she wasnt right for me and it was a very hard thing to do but i did and was convinced it was best for me. but i can tstop thinking about her and her friends and my freinds have said she wants to meet up. i really want to meet her because i havent seen her in a month, but am afraid i might getdrawn in a start going back out with her. this is really hard for me so please help?! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): You won't like what I have to say. But you both are incompatible and this was not love. When a guy is really, truely in love with a woman..the last thing that crosses his mind..is dumping her because she's not up to his standards of what he deems intelligent. You both simply didn't have the solid base to make this work.
However, you do sound young, and you sound very lonely which is making you you want to attach to someone desperately again. Got to watch that. You cannot allow your own loneliness to cause you to back to her, only to put her through this same heartache again in a few months time. Move on and let go. Stay away from her and find someone else. Do her a favor as well, and let her find some guy who is more reliable and appreciates /accepts her for who she truely is. She really deserves better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): you obviously still have feelings for her, so give it a chance. She also clearly has feelings for you. Meet for a casual dinner and see where things go. Maybe after the time apart you just both need closure that your relationship will not work out....OR maybe you just need to restructure your relationship. Why did you have nothing interesting to say? Were you spending too much time together? When you DID go out together were you experiencing new things?
If you spend too much time together, there is usually not much to talk about....go your seperate ways once in a while and then you will have stories to share.
If you are doing the same things all the time when you ARE together...life becomes routine and mundane and can get pretty boring...leaving little to converse about. Take a weekend trip....take a vacation together....go to a new nightspot....go hiking....do anything that the 2 of you have never done....or something that one of you has never done and thinks the other will enjoy.
That's my 2 cents....hope it works out for the best
:)
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