A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I finished with my girlfriend a couple months ago after a argument we had been together a year. After a few weeks of not being in touch I really missed her so decided to get in touch and we met up but she told that I had left it to late and she did not love me anymore and that if I would of got in touch sooner she would of got back with. No amount sorry was not going to work.Its been nearly two months now and even though I've moved with my life I do still love her and now realize she is the one. Only last year she said she wanted to marry me, but then being a typical bloke I went all hot and cold and I think she got tired of itMy question is after 7 weeks of no contact do I try to get in touch even though she's not been in touch with me? Do I try to win her back or ladies do you not like being chased? Usually she's done all the chasing and the last time we met she made it clear that she did not want to get back and that she did not think that I could change as I blow so hot and cold and sometimes don't make any effort with her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LittleTwoLegs  +, writes (30 March 2007):
 She is wounded from what happened, whatever it was. Not she finds it hard to open up again. This was a great loss for her, and she is afraid of losing more.But if you're confident that you can spare her life grief and you can make her happy, then I think it's worth another shot. You only live once and if you're sure this is what you want, by all means go for it.But I must say, you're going to have to do something incredible. It will cost money, time, and effort, but you have to do it as a simple statement of how you feel and nothing more. It can't be something that will make her think that you believe she MUST come back to you after this or that you have expectations of succeeding at something: it has to be her decision. And if it doesn't work out? Well, at least you can say you did something cool in the name of love once: you didn't go down without a fight, and it'll be an incredible story to tell years down the line, whether you end up with her or not.Best of luck
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 March 2007):
 I think you've hurt her too badly for her to want to risk being with you again and however strongly you profess your love for this girl I don't think you're sure that you can be with her without hurting her again. I would say that if you two were truly meant to be together she would be able to forgive you and get over the hurt but the fact that she can't means that you've pushed her too far for it to work. I would move on. Chasing her will just make her feel threatened.
CD
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 She made it clear that she did not want to get back.
That is the most important point for you to think about.
Don't try to win her back, though I know it may be hard for you to do that.
If she's done all the chasing than most likely she doesn't like being chased.
She doesn't think that you can change as you blow so hot and cold and sometimes don't make any effort with her?
Don't take these words personally, she NEEDS it as an explanation why you didn't wanna marry her.
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