A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:"the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return"-from the movie "Moulin Rouge!"Oh it is so very true.I am 18, a German student that is 3 weeks from finishing High School in South Carolina, USA.I have lived in the US with my family since 2003, but my last year here I have been alone, family back in Germany. She is 17, just 3 months after me. She's a US Citizen. She is the most Beautiful girl my eyes have ever seen. And we are in love.Its funny, in the 1st semester of High School I met this girl, never really thought much about her. She was always just there, 2 chairs down. We've had 1 class together every year except for my senior year, but it was not up until the first week of my senior year that we started talking. Talking raised interest, which grew into dreams, dreams turned into passion, and now I am in love with her and she is in love with me. Our hearts are on fire!My life has never been so wonderful.She is my girlfriend. We spent our Senior Prom together, we went to Germany for our Spring Break. I see her every day, she gets out of school early so I sneak out during my lunch break to catch her in the parking lot and tell her I love her! I see her on the weekends whenever I dont have to work. We have seen beautiful Sunsets and we spent perfectly romantic dinners together in candellight.It is May 11. June 30, my Student Visa expires.June 30, therefore, means I will be forced to leave everything behind in the US and return to Germany. Move back in with my Parents, sell my trusty old Pickup Truck next which I gave my very first Kiss to that one Girl. I was so nervous!!!!!!I have never been to scared. All my energy is focused on trying to find a way, any way possible for me to go to College here in the US. She is going to College just a couple of miles away from our High School, and I could be just a few more miles down from that if it wasn't for the money.Has anyone out there ever been in a similar situation?Have you ever seen someone stuck in the same poisiton as me? What did you do? I told my parents that I can't leave her behind, that I'll never be the same. I don't think they quite realised what I was trying to tell them, they just told me that it would be alright and things will work out. I am afraid. I tell myself that life is what I make it, but this is a cruel, cruel situation. If I loose her, my life would be broken apart. Imagine yourself in love with a girl who tells you she loves you, that she can't live without you and will never be the same if you leave her. And you feel the same way about her.And then, Imagine having a deadline. Having just weeks to figure out some way to stay with her, or else sit in a plane, fly away thousands of miles and try to live on, knowing that you had to leave a Girl that loved you, that will never be so young again, and there will never be a second one on earth. ever.I am afraid.Any answers, advice, or just kind good words would be wonderful. Please, world, don't be cruel to me like this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): There is never a fail-safe way, no.. You will have a level of uncertainty no matter what. You cannot control what she thinks, the best you can ever do is influence. And in anything, its improbable that you can control all variables. So you should get that out of your head, and learn to have more comfort with the unknown.I've never been married, but I've been told and am under the impression that how you propose is very vital. Perhaps, in a spot and way that is very special to you both. Make a day of it.Or, if that seems too extravagant for you, next time you two are lamenting your going, holding each other and what not.. Look her in the eyes and say "You know, there is a way I could stay..."And flow from there. GL, Romeo
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello!
Yes, she knows about my situation. And it has been the reason for many silent moments between us just holding each other in our arms.
And to be honest, I can see a permanent relationship happen between us, but I want to be very careful about that. If I get the timing wrong I think it would make things only worse by asking her about us getting married.
Is there a smooth, fail-safe way to bring up that subject?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): Does she know you are leaving? I'm guessing so. She and you MAY be turning up the emotional heat because you will be gone from each other soon. If you do manage to stay in her life, you realize the magic would simmer down at least, yes? That it would approach some level of normalcy and all the regular relationship problems would be within the realm of possibility?
Ok, after that quick reality check, I realize matters of the heart are one of the, if not the, most difficult thing to deal with in this world. I feel for ya, in other words.
Have you considered eloping with her? That would make you a naturalized citizen of the United States. If she is willing, that would solve your visa problem. That's basically what this comes down to now, unless you can figure out another out.
If not, you can either try to do a LTR with her until you accrue the resources to return (risky, at best), or you can build a new life in Germany.
Your options are three.
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